A Two-Sided Coin

Oh, I cannot tell you how difficult it has been to blog these last few weeks! If you know me at all, you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve and that I love processing through everything openly in my life. I am not a good keeper of secrets - not that I don't keep them, only that it is difficult and draining for me to do so. This morning there is a sense of relief knowing that I can finally share some of the thoughts in my heart. I am so glad that the keeping quiet part is done and the processing together part can begin. . . I'm much better at that, anyway.

This weekend Matt and I announced to our church that we will be moving on to a new ministry opportunity at a church outside of Milwaukee. As I shared this news with some of our closest friends and students the word that kept coming out of my mouth was bittersweet. I decided to look it up to be sure I was using it accurately. . .

Bittersweet:

1 : being at once bitter and sweet; especially : pleasant but including or marked by elements of suffering or regret

I would by lying if I said that this decision wasn't pleasant - if I tried to convince you that I wasn't excited and filled with thankfulness for this opportunity. But I would also be lying if I said that there was not a heavy element of suffering that comes with that joy.

The bitter part of this choice is having to walk away from a ministry that is filled with people I love. God has done so much through my relationships with friends and students here. I have a deep love and a strong connection to my girls, and the thought of that connection being severed is painful - to say the least. It is also bitter to walk away from the fruit that God is so clearly growing in our midst!! He is at work here; drawing students (and adults!) to Himself and teaching us all what it truly means to walk as Jesus walked. . .

The sweet part of this choice is walking into a ministry that is exciting and full of possibilities! I cannot wait to be a part of the team that is currently reaching students for Christ in that community. I cannot wait to experience the power of teaming with other like-minded brothers and sisters who have a passion and love for young people. I am so thrilled for my hubby to have the opportunity to be mentored by other men on staff who are passionate and gifted leaders whose love for Christ is so clearly evident! I cannot wait!!

So I think bittersweet is the perfect word. I am thrilled and torn to pieces all at once. I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have made the right decision. And I am so excited to see what God will do here and there in the coming months and years to make Jesus known! I know that He's not done in this place, and I hope that the hearts of our friends and students continue to beat after His great calling on their lives and His desire to use them for His kingdom!!

I am counting on God, trusting in His sovereign plan, and finding peace in the knowledge that He has the whole world in His hands. . . No matter where you are at I hope today you find peace in that knowledge too. After all, its HIS church, HIS body, and HIS bride anyway. . .