the Good Fight

Our legal system is totally out of control. It is amazing to me the things that now result in lawsuits. . . When you look at the perspective of our culture, though, it isn't surprising. Everything in our culture tells us to look out for our own rights, and to take definitive action when we feel that our rights have been violated. That, apparently, is the path to personal fulfillment and success.

The problem is that when I look around, I don't see a lot of people who feel fulfilled and successful. I see a lot of people who are unhappy and consumed with the problems and difficulties in their lives. I am a mom, so let me paint a picture of this from motherhood. . .

Moms have difficult jobs. Depending on the ages of our kids, we are giving and serving all day long. We are confined to the routines and needs of our children. In this world of 'looking out for number one' is it really easy for moms to develop a destructive attitude about parenting. We start saying things like, "_________(fill in husband's name) just doesn't get it! I mean, I work so hard all day long, doesn't he understand I need some time off?"

It isn't wrong for a mom to ask for time off. It isn't wrong to ask that her husband be sympathetic and encouraging after difficult days with the kids. . . But when we allow ourselves to be the center of our world, we will never be satisfied! If I am always looking to see if Matt is giving me my rights, I can guarantee you I will always feel like he is failing (and he will always feel like he's failing, too).

Now, in stark contrast to the unhappiness and dissatisfaction that this attitude brings is the attitude that the bible teaches.

Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave.
Philippians 2:4-6

You see, Jesus stripped himself of all of his rights. . . He could have thundered down off that cross and seriously punished the people who were wrongly mocking him, beating him, and ultimately killing him. But he didn't. He allowed them to violate his rights and send him to death completely unjustified.

The bible says that we are to have that same attitude. That doesn't mean that if people are hurting us we can't stand up for ourselves (we should protect ourselves and those we love from abusive people). . . But it does mean that instead of obsessing about ourselves, we obsess about others. We care more about lifting up the people around us than exalting ourselves.

And the crazy thing about God is that His ways are always best, and when we actually live out his ways, we experience the greatest joy and fulfillment in our lives. I know this seems backwards - but when I completely let go of the things 'I deserve' and focus on serving others, I'm happy! Suddenly I'm not consumed with frustration and anger. . . suddenly my job as a mom becomes totally fulfilling and joyful.

Its a choice that we make. We can either focus on ourselves and become miserable because for some reason everyone else's world doesn't revolve around us, or we can give up fighting for ourselves and start fighting for someone else.

I'm not so concerned that Matt and I share an *equal* amount of the parenting responsibilities. . . I long to support and encourage him by making his days easier, and his time at home fulfilling. I'm not doing it to try and be some sort of ultra-submissive wife who lets her husband rule her (which, by the way, Matt does not do - he is incredibly supportive and helpful). I'm doing it because he's a human being, and God has asked me to put his needs (and your needs, and my neighbor's needs, and my mom's needs, and on and on) above my own.

Oh, that we would be like Jesus - not fighting for the rights that should be ours, but giving up our rights to love and serve the people God places in our path. . . and in so doing, find the greatest fulfillment and satisfaction that this life has to offer.