Guilt is an ugly thing. It clings to the deepest corners of our hearts and makes us incapable of moving forward. I think a lot of people live with a deep sense of guilt. Maybe its from mistakes in their past that they have yet to let go of, or from lifestyles that they currently live but somehow cannot seem to change. Either way, the guilt that they experience keeps them from living life to its fullest and feeling the wonderfully deep contentment and satisfaction that comes with a clear conscience.
Sometimes I think guilt is what holds people back from God. They think that because of the bad choices they've made, or the circumstances they have endured, they are unworthy and unwanted by this great, holy, righteous God. A family member used to say that going to church was painful, because he felt like he was bringing this big, dark cloud into the sanctuary with him.
This is exactly the opposite of what God wants us to feel or experience when we come to him. You are not supposed to be weighed down by your guilt. Jesus died to bring us freedom! When we fail to live the way we should, we are to fall on our knees and repent. . . and then arise again knowing that we are fully forgiven, we are fully loved, and we are fully enabled through God's strength and power to flee from that sin when it comes knocking again.
If guilt is holding you back from experiencing life with God, you need to pick up your bible and read about some of the faithful who followed Jesus during his ministry on earth. If anyone should have felt guilty for their lack of faith, their struggle for power in God's kingdom, or their lack of compassion and love for the multitudes, it was the disciples.
But they didn't wallow in guilt for their bad behavior. They didn't hunker down and hide after Jesus' death and resurrection. . . they recognized at once that they were forgiven and gave their lives to share this forgiveness with others!
Its ok if you've made mistakes - we all have. And its ok if those mistakes are really, really bad ones. . . Remember, Jesus came to heal the sick, not the healthy. And it doesn't matter how sick you are or how ugly your sin, Jesus longs to bring you healing and new life.
And yes, when we surrender our lives to Jesus and live for him our choices will look different. They must! But it isn't because we suddenly become perfect or above sin (or sinners), its because our love for our Savior drives us to live differently from the world around us. And we will still falter and fail sometimes. . . but just as the disciples did 2,000 years ago, we simply get up, repent of our sin, and boldly run after Christ once again.
His grace is enough. . . there is no guilty conscience that He cannot wipe clean. I pray that you would experience His forgiveness, love, and unending grace today. . . Jesus died so you would, you know.
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