Couch Therapy

This last week has been a roller coaster of sickness and sadness. It has probably been 3 weeks since I have felt 100% healthy, and the toll of being tired and sick makes dealing with emotional issues pretty darn difficult. My super-mature/hugely-spiritual response to all of this has been to live for tomorrow. Its a pretty good philosophy to cling to when your body aches and your head is so congested that you can't breath at all when you recline to anything beyond a 90 degree angle. . . Except, it isn't biblical, and it definitely doesn't work well with the issues we face regarding the heart.

You see, in my exhaustion I can look at tomorrow and see potential for health and energy. I can make myself feel better about all of the things I didn't do, because certainly tomorrow I'll be able to make up for it, right? But what about the sadness? Will the loss of a friend be easier tomorrow? Will the heartache of knowing that some of the people I treasure most in the world are suffering be any more tolerable? No. Honestly, it won't. When you are facing the painful, traumatic experiences in life, tomorrow doesn't always bring relief.

So what, then? How do I respond when I am sick and incapable of having a meaningful conversation with God? What do I cling to when life throws curve balls that smack me in the gut and slam me to the ground? Where is there relief if not in tomorrow?

Oh, now see, this is where I love the simplicity of the Christian life. Here is the perfect opportunity for a "Sunday School" answer that is completely legit. The answer to every one of those questions?

Jesus.

I don't need to look to tomorrow. Who knows what tomorrow will hold anyway. . . I might not be any better, any more capable of cleaning my house, or any more ready to deal with the grief that inevitably comes with life in this fallen world. But I can look to Jesus and find the strength to live today. I can put one foot in front of the other and pray for His strength to carry me through.

In the moments when my head is clear I can open my bible and read about this man who has power over everything that troubles me, and I can find hope in today. Today I will live for Jesus. It might not seem so triumphant to someone looking in my window. . . watching me alternate between 3 blankets and no blankets to accommodate for the heat waves/chills that seem to come and go, channel surfing to find something to fall asleep to with my head propped up, and the Mt Everest of Kleenex towering next to the couch.

But I am triumphant. I am more than a conqueror today. If Jesus decides to come thundering out of heaven this very night, I will not be ashamed. Because I will refuse to give Satan one inch of my heart or mind, and I will not lose hope in what God can accomplish even in this weak and tired body of mine.

That, my friends, is my plan for today. Tomorrow? Who knows. . . I don't want to think about it anymore. All I know is that today is a gift from God, and I will live it for Him.