Chameleon

Do you ever find yourself in situations where it is difficult to really be yourself? Like you have to veil a part of who you are, or emulate something that isn't necessarily what you're like? I find myself feeling this way often. . . I know where it comes from; why I do it. It isn't a quality that I hope to pass on to my children, because the root issue at hand here is my desperate longing for acceptance and approval from others who cross my path (not a desirable or Christ-like longing).

My chameleon tendencies are exaggerated even further because I have this natural dramatic flair that makes it really easy for me to change into whatever "character" best fits whatever context I happen to find myself in. I can even change the way I talk and how I communicate like flippin' a switch.

I'm telling you all this because I'm trying to be real (the whole point of this blog, yes?) but it is an unfortunate and difficult thing to admit (especially seeing as how it is something I have recognized and fought against time and time again over the years. . . ). I want to be the kind of woman who is consistent and transparent in all circumstances; no matter who I'm around or what they are like. I want to be completely unafraid to be who I am. You see, it isn't that my actions or words in these situations are sinful, its the heart behind them that is longing for acceptance from people instead of God.

I am most convicted when I think about Christ. Do you think he ever changed the way he spoke or how he acted in order to convince the crowds that he was fabulous? Do you think he allowed the attitudes and behaviors of others to define his behavior? No way, my friends. . . I am convinced that Jesus was completely unconcerned with acceptance, and completely consumed with truth. It didn't matter how others perceived him, only that he was following after the will of his Father.

I am also convicted when I think about God, my Father. His unchanging character is what gives us the greatest confidence and assurance of our eternal destiny with Him. If He was continually swaying with the wind, following the fickle desires of His heart, we would have no confidence in where we stand. But He is a rock; unmovable, unchangeable, forever and always the same. How awesome is that?

So, that's where my heart is this morning. . . Immensely grateful for a Savior who lived the greatest example, and for a God who offers unending opportunities to be molded into the example Christ has set (and through His Spirit the power to do it!).

Oh, pray with me that we would all run unashamedly after Christ in whatever capacity He has fashioned us to run!

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

He grew up before him like a tender shoot, like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. Isaiah 53:3

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17