A Sliver

When Matt and I were first married I was totally into Jessica Simpson's reality show, "Newlyweds."  I was hooked.  Its kind of embarrassing to admit, but its the truth.  And when the show ended and Jessica and Nick split apart I was actually devastated.  I felt like I knew them; like we were old friends.  It was almost personal for me seeing their relationship crumble.  I even prayed that they would work it out and get back together.

Ridiculous, I know.

But they had lived a great portion of their lives on a very public stage and it made me feel like I deserved a say in the choices they made.  I knew better than they did what should be happening in their lives.  Or so I thought...

The reality is that I didn't actually know them at all.  What I saw of them was a mere sliver of the whole picture of their lives and personalities.  I'm also sure it was often a very distorted sliver, at that.  You know, dramatized by the show producers to make each episode interesting enough to capture the hearts of girls like me.  

How often do we do that, though?  How many times in a day or week do we capture a sliver of someone else's life and assume that we know the whole of them?

I think we do it daily.  We forget that our perspective is limited and that our sight is sometimes distorted, and we create an entire identity for someone based off of our small slivers of knowledge.

Its so easy to do.

And I don't think its entirely wrong.

It all depends on the heart attitude we bring and the way we analyze the sliver of knowledge we've received.  It all depends on the depth of our love for one another, and our desire to see each other as God sees us. 

You see, we have a choice every time we interact with someone or see them on some public forum.  We have a choice to believe the best in them, or to believe the worst in them.  We can take the sliver of knowledge we receive about them and use that to fill out a whole picture painted in grace and positivity... or we can use the sliver to create a canvas filled with negative assumptions and criticism.

Which perspective do you think God wants us to have?

That's a silly question, isn't it?  We know how He wants us to view each other.  All we need to do is turn to Philippians, or 1 Corinthians and we see clearly the way that God intended for us to interpret the slices of knowledge in our lives.

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ?  Any comfort from his love?  Any fellowship together in the Spirit?  Are your hearts tender and compassionate?  Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.  Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Philippians 2:1-3

 You see, God has called us to approach the slivers we see of others with tenderness, compassion, love, humility and genuine esteem.  I think he made that clear because he knew it would be hard.

Its hard to see people in a positive light when the sliver of knowledge we have about them is altogether different from us.  Its hard to believe the best in someone when what we know of them reflects a personality or life perspective that differs greatly from ours.  Our inclination in those circumstances is to judge the sliver and use it as the basis for our estimation of the entire pie.

If I don't like the sliver I see in you, then your pie must be bad.

There is great danger in this attitude.  Why?  Well, what if you are wrong?

It is an incredibly painful thing to know that someone has seen a sliver of your life and consequently found your whole person lacking.  It hurts to know that your entire reputation could be defamed through one misinterpreted conversation or action.

Here's the deal:  Sometimes the sliver you will see of my life won't look all that appealing.  You might catch me on a cranky day, or see me when my heart and my mind are not on the same page.  Or you might see me at my very best and still wonder what on earth God was thinking when He wired me this way.

If you can, try to remember that my worst isn't my all, and my best isn't you.

We are all wading through life, trying to keep our heads afloat.  For those of us whose deepest desire is to run after Jesus, we are doing our best to model every sliver of our life after Him.  And guess what - sometimes we fail - every one of us!

What joy and encouragement could we find if we could run forward knowing that our brothers and sisters weren't looking at our individual slivers - good or bad - and judging the wholeness of our character?  How wonderful would it be to feel the grace and love of others who look at us and believe the best instead of the worst?

I'm praying that God can create that attitude in me...  And I'll be praying for you, too.  That He would give you HIS eyes to see the people around you as HE sees them.  That you would look to each other with love, graciousness, and humility.

I might not understand every sliver of who you are, but I can see that God is working you into one mighty fine pie.

You be your pie, and I'll be mine.  And together I think the canvas of the body of Christ will create a glorious and diverse representation of HIM to a world in desperate need.