Settling In & Looking Up

Well here we are!  We made it across 4 states and are settled into my parent's beautiful home in Fort Collins, Colorado.  Leaving Matt on Friday morning was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  When I woke up that morning I was just shaky.  The actual goodbye played out pretty much how I expected.  Hard.  Emotional.  Yucko.

But in all the sadness there was this deep confidence and hope.  I know we're doing the right thing.  I know we're walking in obedience and following where God is leading.  So even amidst the struggles and tears, I have such great joy.

And really, we are so wonderfully blessed.  The drive was so easy.  For some reason our kids don't mind sitting in the car for obscene amounts of time.  We listened to books on tape and oohed and ahhed over the beauty around us.

My parents have created such a sweet little space for us to call our own.  Caleb gets to sleep on a top bunk.  Ali gets to love on Edie (my mom's black labradoodle) to her heart's content.  I have two loving shoulders to lean on when this journey seems a little more than I can bear.  What more could a girl ask for, really?

This first week has also been an incredible blessing because both of my brothers were here to welcome us.  They are two amazing men who I adore, and who bring such joy and laughter to our lives.  Ryan flew back to the East Coast this morning, and Ben will head out in a few days.  No one can fill the Daddy-shaped hole in our hearts, but between Gramma, Papa, Uncle Ryan, and Uncle Ben, our first days apart have certainly been a little easier...

This morning was another first on this journey:  Caleb and Ali's first day at Tavelli Elementary school in Fort Collins.  I was a little terrified.  And probably on the verge of losing it.  But I did my best to stuff all of those emotions down deep and show the kids only sheer joy and excitement for their new adventure in 1st and 2nd grade!  That's what us moms do.

We feel like our insides will burst with fears and worries and uncertainties; and we smile pretty and say, "Aren't you so excited!  I'm SO excited!"  And I do mean it.  I am so excited for them!  They have the privilege of meeting so many new friends, and experiencing so many new things!  They'll be just fine.

And in all of this, I am continually reminded of my ultimate Comforter.  The One who has been with me the whole time.  The One who has gone before us and paved our way.  God is so good, and He is so incredibly faithful.

I have no reason to carry around those fears and worries and uncertainties.  It isn't always easy, but I'm doing my best to just lay them at the feet of my Savior and remember that He's got my back.

So we're hanging in there.  My phone is my constant companion these days, never knowing when Matt might text or call.  Its been so fun to hear how his experience is going.  I don't know much, but so far, so good.  Today he started the intimidating physical training part of ODS.  If he crosses your mind, I know he'd appreciate your prayers.

That's our life now.  It feels like the dust is starting to settle and I can see a little more clearly.  Onward and upward, my friends.