Do whatever it takes to get a guy to like you. You are worthless without a boyfriend.
I think this struggle is just as much internal as it is external. Every time someone makes us feel bad because we don't have a boyfriend, I think we also experience an inner ache and longing for someone to pick us out of the crowd.
It isn't just our society that makes us feel like we need a relationship to be complete. Its ourselves, too.
You know why? Because we were made that way. On some level we all feel incomplete at first. So we desperately search for something to fill ourselves up and make us feel whole. For a lot of girls, that means running to boys. But that doesn't usually work, does it?
The boy you thought would make you feel whole called you fat and ugly.
Your boyfriend of two years found a newer version of you and traded you in.
The guy you've been flirting with for 3 months just asked out your best friend.
Now - if there are any guys reading this - don't get offended too quickly. Us girls have just as much capacity to ruin a relationship through selfishness and unfaithfulness. And some relationships absolutely do need to end. Its ok to come to a point where you realize that you just aren't meant to be together.
But it hurts all just the same, doesn't it? It doesn't really matter who ends the relationship, or how it ends. Its like ripping off a band-aid and exposing a wound that hasn't fully healed. There's that hole again, crying out for something to fill it back up.
Here is the truth that I would like to share that blows this lie out of the water:
Jesus is the only man you'll ever need. You are incomplete without Christ.
And here's why:
1. We are all hardwired for a relationship with HIM.
That ache you feel? That longing for someone to love you? We're all born with it, and it is our heart's longing for God. Not convinced? Look back at Genesis. Notice how Adam and Eve lived while they were in the garden. In Genesis 3 we see God "walking in the garden in the cool of the day." Can you imagine a life where you could just go for a walk with God? Seriously? Wow.
And what was part of the punishment that God gave Adam and Eve after they sinned against him? Separation from his intimate presence in the garden.
You see, we can search this world high and low to try and find something to make us feel complete. We can look to boys, friends, grades, jobs, talents, sports, or anything else as a way to give our lives meaning and purpose. But those things will never sufficiently complete us. There is only one person who can do that. . . hint, hint - its the One who made you, and the One who daily sustains you.
Whether we know it or not, our souls are longing for the garden again. Knowing about God isn't enough. Going to church isn't enough. Only an intimate, life-directing, sanctifying walk with Jesus will satisfy us. . .
2. His love is unconditional and never fading. He'll never trade us in.
Here is the problem with looking to a guy for significance: he's human, and eventually he'll sin against you.
It doesn't matter how amazing and Godly your particular fellow is. He isn't perfect, and at some point or another he will hurt you. At some point he will disappoint you, fail to protect you, or just give up on you.
It is a dangerous thing to place all of our identity and worth in the hands of a person.
But the beauty and wonder of the Christian life is that in Christ we can find a love that will never sin against us. Jesus is perfect, and he will never hurt you. He will never disappoint you, fail to protect you, or give up on you.
There is no greater love than that of your Savior for you. Romans 8 says is like this:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Nothing can stop God's love for you. There is no better model that will eventually replace you. When the Almighty One calls you His own you will be eternally His. No matter what.
Those are just two of the many reasons why we need to look to JESUS to complete us instead of a relationship.
I hope you see that the world's perspective on relationships is not just unhealthy, but completely wrong. I believe that our mistaken view of the way relationships are supposed to fulfill us and complete us is the biggest factor in why so many marriages are broken. If only everyone could see what their hearts are truly longing for!!
Don't ever forget that Jesus is meant to be your main man. You get that right, and most everything else will be ok. How can you go wrong with such an everlasting, unstoppable, overflowing kind of love?
You can't. So stop fighting it. Acknowledge what you know is true and run after the deepest desire of your heart; the only thing that will complete you.
Run after Jesus.
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