Beloved

There was this couple in my high school that was famous for their explosive relationship. They would be all googly-eyed and giddy around each other one day (and showing way more affection that I thought necessary or appropriate) and then suddenly be freezing each other out and yelling at each other in public the next. . . It didn't seem like the healthiest relationship, but I have to be honest - on the good days I found myself secretly envious.

When this particular boy was not fighting with this particular girl, they seemed to be living in some sort of alternate universe of sheer joy and complete self-confidence. On these good days this girl would float through the hallways with a huge grin on her face, oblivious to the gossip going on all around her predicting the time and place of their next huge meltdown. . .

You see, when that boy loved her, it seemed to me like she was invincible! So long as she felt confident in his feelings for her and her status as his girlfriend, all of the negativity around her seemed completely irrelevant. It was like watching a scary movie; totally horrific but completely addicting.

The other day I wrote about how important it is for us to understand our princess status as children of God. I wasn't referring to some superficial confidence, or poofy dresses and tiaras. I was talking about seeing ourselves as God sees us in Christ. I was alluding to the alternate universe that we actually belong to where we are loved beyond measure and accepted just as we are.

You see, when we understand our "princess status" as believers, then we get to walk through this life filled with the sheer joy and complete confidence of knowing that we belong to God. We can slap a big, silly grin on our faces and become invincible to the gossip and negativity around us. We can love others without the fear of them one day refusing to return our love because we've received all the love we'll ever need in Jesus.

I think understanding this reality is especially important for girls because we tend to struggle way more with feelings of insecurity and unlove. Maybe that isn't always true, but it seems to be the trend in my life.

Lets take, for example, the 4 month period when Matt and I were engaged and living 3 hours apart. We would talk on the phone most evenings, and when it came time to say goodbye the awful cycle would begin. I would feel sad that we had to say goodbye, and I would try to prolong it. Matt would get frustrated that I was prolonging it because he had to go work on a paper, so he would just get a brief "talk to you later" in there and be on his way. I would shut my phone and cry for 3 minutes, feeling completely abandoned and unloved and then I would called Matt back. . . He would then assure me of his love and we would begin the whole hanging up routine again.

My word. I really was insane.

So maybe you aren't that crazy - but for me feeling completely secure and confident in the way someone else feels about me is difficult. I tend to compare myself with others and often find myself wanting. I don't always feel like I deserve the love of the people in my life, so I try my very hardest to earn it.

Do you want to know something amazing? That isn't how God's love works. There isn't some way that we have to earn our princess status in Christ. Here's what we do: we admit that we are broken; we confess that we have sinned; we believe - not just with our minds, but with our hearts, hands & feet that Jesus can wash us clean. . . and we rest in the knowledge that His love is enough!

I don't have to worry about earning His love any more than I need to try and make you like me. I can walk through this hallway of life focused on the alternate universe that will one day be my home. . . smiling because His love for me is not explosive and unpredictable. It is never changing, never fading, always present love. And it is all I will ever need in this life and the next.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 1 Peter 2:9-10

There you go friends; Princess 101.

Gag Me

I used to like to think of myself as a manly Christian. Is that weird? Maybe a tad. But it seemed preferable to thinking of myself as a girly Christian. Girly Christians made me gag.

That sounds like such a harsh way to start this post, but I've got to be honest, right?

So maybe I should explain myself before anyone takes this the wrong way. It all goes back to one particular night in college when I found myself slightly ashamed to be a girl. You see, I was involved in Campus Crusade for Christ and we would often have "Mens' Times" and "Womens' Times" where the boys and girls would separate and we would hear talks geared specifically for our gender. To some of you this sounds weird already, doesn't it?

Well, anyway, on one fateful night I remember coming home from our Women's Time and talking to some of the boys. They were super pumped about what they had learned and were talking on and on about it. It was something totally manly and spiritual like being a man and rejecting passivity. Then the unfortunate moment came when they asked us what we learned at the Women's Time, and I had to choke out these words: "Well, we learned that since Jesus is a Prince and we are all his adopted sisters that we are, in fact, all princesses."

At this point it might help to remind you that I was not in kindergarten but college.

So it was at that moment that I decided to try and 'man up' the women's ministry on our campus. I was desperate for opportunities to go deeper; I wanted to learn something more significant than my princess status or how to look trendy and modest at the same time. . . I firmly believed that being a girl didn't mean I had to be a syrupy Christian.

I still believe all those things are true, but I gotta admit, my perspective on the princess thing has changed.

I think we need to hear about our princess status in Christ; I think we're never too old to be reminded of what it means to be a girl and a Christian at the same time.

Here's the deal: I've never met a girl who didn't struggle with insecurity and unhealthy comparison on one level or another. And the only truly effective solution I've ever found for this epidemic is understanding our true identity and ultimate worth in God's eyes.

You see, not talking about these things would be like trying to skip kindergarten. No one skips kindergarten - its where you learn how to read and the rest of school would be a little challenging if you couldn't read.

Its no different with the princess thing. It is foundational to our relationship with God and our ability to live out our faith effectively. The problem is that a lot of us start hearing about it when we're 5, so we associate it as a lack of growth and maturity thing. We think things like, "Oh, I've heard that since I was 5, I get it. I don't need to hear about the princess thing anymore - I'm too mature for that."

Except - I think we have a faulty system for determining when we have graduated from princess training school. Take reading, for example. When do you know that someone has learned to read? When they can read. Brilliant.

So, how do we know that we have fully understood our position in Christ as a girl? When we live and act and speak and think in ways that show complete confidence in ourselves and the way that God has made us. When we are never tempted to judge another girl's behavior or skills or put someone else down so that we will feel better about ourselves. When we are overjoyed at the successes of others even if it means we're a notch or two lower on the totem pole.

Whenever there are still hints of insecurity in our lives, well, those are reminders that on some level we have not fully understood or accepted our princess status. The funny thing is that when I was 19 I thought I had passed that course. I thought it was beneath me.

Now that I'm 30 I am realizing that I might never pass that course. I will be in princess training for the rest of my life. . . and I'm ok with that. My brilliant solution to all of this is to do both. I can simultaneously work on understanding my position in Christ and growing deeper in my knowledge of the Scriptures. They can work together. . .

It is a dangerous place to be when we think we have it all figured out, don't you think?

Its ok to be a girly Christian. . . so long as we are continually striving to find our full selves in Christ and pursue Him with all we are and have. . .

I'm a princess.

And I'm not feeling the urge to gag one bit.

Love & Prayer

I love to read. When I was younger I was addicted to fiction. I especially loved adventures set in times long ago. . . As I grew up and started taking my faith more seriously I started reading books that talked about God; books that helped me walk with Him and live for Him more fully.

I remember one car trip with Matt before we had kids. I was reading out loud from a book by D.A. Carson, who happened to be one of Matt's professor's at seminary. The book was about prayer; how we can look to Paul's prayers in the Epistles as models for our own prayers. For some reason I remember being particularly moved by what I was reading at some point and bursting into tears. Poor Matt. I believe I kept reading as I sobbed. . . I'm not sure he was able to glean much from that particular reading. . .

That incident was at least 6 years ago, but there are parts of that particular book that have stuck with me to this day. There is something powerful about praying Paul's prayers for myself and for the people I love.

So this morning I am praying for you. The other day I talked about how love seemed to be the theme of my God-thoughts these days. . . and it will continue to be the theme of my summer as we hit the road with our bible study on His Revolutionary Love.

Today I am praying that you can experience the richness of His love in a powerful and life-transforming way. God knows I am longing for it to continually transform mine. . .

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19