Getting Caught Up

As the title would suggest, this blog is meant to keep friends and family updated on what's going on in our lives right now.  If this is your primary source for that information, you might think one of two things:  one, we have fallen off the face of the earth, or two, nothing much has happened worth talking about in the last month or so.

Neither of those things are even remotely true.

The fact is that so much has happened in our lives over the last month that I have found it overwhelming to even consider how I would communicate it all.  I'm going to give it my best shot now, but I'm not guaranteeing anything.  At this point its still hard for me to wrap my own brain around the craziness...

So on November 11th I packed half of the belongings that the kids and I had brought out to Colorado back into the van and started driving East.  The goal was to get some of our stuff and our minivan back to Wisconsin to help with the move.  So I drove from Colorado to Wisconsin over two days all by myself.   Another example of how this life is teaching me how to put on my big girl shoes... =)

From Wisconsin I flew to South Carolina for some spouse training and Matt's Chaplain school graduation.  I loved the training.  Let me tell you - if you are looking for a seriously fun, funny, loving, compassionate, caring soul - go find a chaplain's wife.  The ones I've met so far are AMAZING.  We had a blast.

Matt's graduation was fabulous.  It was so awesome to have that time together, celebrating all that we BOTH had accomplished over the previous 3 months.  And while I adore my kiddos, I think it was pretty special that they were back in Colorado getting loved on by my Aunt Kim, Uncle Tim, and their grandparents.  Matt and I had 10 days of talking, connecting, laughing, and remembering what its like to have each other in the same state.

Fabulous.

From South Carolina we drove to Illinois and gathered together some things that we had left there at Matt's parent's house.  Then we headed north to good ole Wisconsin, hung out with some of our dear friends and sweet students, and watched as the movers packed 95% of our life into a semi headed for California.

It still didn't feel real.

We drove back to Colorado and surprised the kids, who weren't expecting us till the next day.  Being back together was such a joy.  Watching my kids reaction to seeing their dad for the first time in 2 months was priceless.  We spent Thanksgiving in Arizona with my in-laws and Matt's sister and her family.  We had a fantastic time and enjoyed some moments of quiet in the middle of all of our chaos.

And then the day came when the little Fisher clan climbed into our cars and drove to California.  6 months of planning and waiting and dreaming and we were finally going to BE there.   At this point I feel like you may be wondering just how much time I actually spent in the car last month.  I did the math.

71 hours.  I don't think I need to say anything else about that right now.

So we've been in California for almost 3 weeks now.  I am overjoyed and so incredibly grateful.  Caleb and Alison have blown me away with their adaptability and excitement.  They are so completely on board with this adventure, and honestly I think the continual chaos has actually helped our sweet Caleb come out of his shell and express a little more self-confidence.  They have both made friends and are connecting well at school.  Caleb has continued his martial arts training by joining karate here in 29 Palms, and Ali just had her first tumbling class last week!

Matt is loving his job.  Its so neat to see him walk in the door each night with a big smile on his face and awesome stories about the opportunities he had to connect with marines.  Whether he is planning training sessions, talking with other chaplains, or counseling marines struggling with issues like stress or the challenges of life, I know that Matt is doing EXACTLY what God has called him to do.

I can honestly say that despite the chaos and exhaustion that I have felt for the last month, I have also sensed God's constant presence and provision.  He has worked out details and answered prayers above and beyond our expectations.  How so?  Well for one, when we got here we found out that we would have a short wait for on-base housing.  Knowing that we would be moving again in a month, we decided that getting our things out of storage and unpacking it all was probably not worth the trouble.  We found a furnished rental and decided to live one more month with the few things we had squeezed into our two cars.

The afternoon that we made that decision I was talking to my mom when it suddenly dawned on me that it meant we wouldn't have any of our Christmas things.  No decorations, or ornaments, or stockings...  Suddenly my heart started cracking and the reality felt a little overwhelming.  While I was talking with my mom I got another incoming call.  I didn't answer it, but after hanging up with my mom I listened to the voicemail.

And I cried.

Because it was our new landlord, asking me if I would like for her to have a Christmas tree, ornaments and decorations set up for us when we moved in.  And did we need stockings?  My word, friends.  You know that isn't normal, right?  But this sweet woman is married to a retired Marine, and she knows that sometimes when military families have to move around the holidays they won't have access to their things...

That is just one example of the MANY ways we have felt and seen God's hand, providing in sometimes the most unexpected ways.

Obedience isn't always easy, but I can tell you this with great assurance:  It is worth it.

So we are living in a furnished rental home right now, but we should be able to move on base in early January.  Once that happens I think we will finally feel settled into this new life.

Thank you so much for your continual prayers, encouragement and support.  It means so much to us, and I know that a great portion of the peace and comfort I have felt is because of YOU.

Love from California.

Beautiful, Sweet November

Its November people.  Do you know what that means?

This is the month I get to go to South Carolina and watch Matt graduate from Chaplain school.  This is the month we get to reunite as a family and sleep all under one roof.  This is the month that we move to California.

I cannot believe its already November.

When the kids and I moved out to Fort Collins I had all of these expectations for things I would do, people I would visit, myriads of ways I would try to fill the time so that it would go quickly.  Somehow I didn't hardly get any of those things done... but the time managed to FLY.

Looking back over the last few months I have realized often just how crazy blessed we are.  I am so grateful, and so overwhelmed by the blessings.  At some point I'm going to have to write a whole blog post dedicated to my parents.  Expressing somehow just how amazing they are.  They have made our little tribe feel more loved and welcomed and appreciated than would be necessary or normal.

Papa running in the school walk-a-thon with Ali.

Yes they did hold hands the whole time.

Maybe the cutest thing ever.

I was welcomed into their church like a rockstar (seriously, there were days it was exhausting chatting with all of the people that wanted to meet me... its so hard being popular).  Ha!  But really, there's a deeper reason why everyone wanted to meet me that has nothing to do with ME.  Its my parents.  I'm not the only one who thinks they are pretty amazing...

Gramma reading a birthday card to Caleb.

Her love for these two runs deep and wide...

Anyway, in my reflections of the flying time these days I am reminded of how this adventure all started.  

November.

It was almost exactly one year ago that God put this desire in our hearts.  One year ago that He stirred a passion in us to reach out and serve in an entirely different capacity.  Actually, last Thanksgiving we traveled to Arizona to spend the holidays with Matt's parents.  Much of that time was spent sharing our new crazy vision and getting their perspective and thoughts on it all.

This Thanksgiving we'll be in Arizona with Matt's parents again... But this time it will be a pit stop on our way to our first duty station at a marine base in California.

Is that not cool?

Sometimes God works in crazy ways... and this year has felt like a wild, unbelievable and insanely exciting roller coaster.   Ups and downs along the way, but He has been faithful and constant in it all.

And hey, did you know that two of my sweet friends from Wisconsin flew out to visit me last weekend?  I don't know how I managed to get so many awesome people in my life.  I don't deserve it - but once again, I am grateful.

April, who is filling my shoes in Wisconsin.

I don't think the shoes I left were big enough.

This girl is amazing...

Junia, my sweet Wednesday afternoon friend.

Can't tell you how I miss talking about kids and food and faith

with this girl.  I might also miss her yummy treats.  But mostly her. ;)

In 10 days I'll be at Fort Jackson with Matt.  To say that I'm proud of what he has done over the last few months would be an understatement.  I may not be there, but it is so obvious that he has taken the challenges that come with this new life and run with them (literally, friends, like in crazy fast 10 mile work outs...).  He's still Matt, which means there's probably a good amount of laughter along the way, but he has pushed himself farther and harder than ever before to do this thing well.  He has shown grace, worked his butt off, made friends, and somehow kept his wife and 2 kiddos feeling like we're part of it all.


10 days.

Hallelujah.

A Peek at 29 Palms!

Yesterday I got back from a whirlwind trip to sunny California.  It was 48 hours of pure sensory and information overload - and I loved every second of it.  The desert was a bit of a shock at first.  Palm Springs is gorgeous, but as you drive through the mountains into the more remote parts of the area it is overwhelmingly NOTHING like suburban Wisconsin living.  Over the course of 2 days, however, I was pleasantly surprised several times.  Here are a few of my new revelations!

First of all, I had no idea that the mountains were really mountains.  That sounds ridiculous - I know.  But I had this uneducated notion that the mountains in California were more like glorified hills.

I was wrong.

this is the view out the front door of my host's house...

from the driveway of one of the houses we looked at...

My second pleasant surprise (sort of tied to the first) was beauty.  I have spent the last few months convincing myself that I can take living anywhere - even somewhere awful.  Newsflash:  29 Palms isn't awful.  Its actually kind of beautiful.

down the main strip of the town of 29 Palms...

Now having said that, I will admit that there are some sketchy looking parts of town.  For example: do not blow up the above picture and inspect any of the buildings too carefully.  They look much nicer from a bit of a distance... ;) 

The base itself has pretty parts and not so pretty parts.  Here are some of the parts I'm excited to be hanging around for the next 3 years!

 I don't have any idea where that is... random road on base...

the grocery store on base!  My future second home... 

One of the several fields on base... Look - GRASS!!!

 The Protestant chapel on base...

The drive down from the main part of base to the gate...

The third surprise is really just for Caleb:  a skate park right on base for my little skater dude.  Unexpected and SO fun.  He might have been rather excited when I showed him this picture. =)

My last revelation wasn't really a surprise.  It was more of a confirmation of what I felt at Matt's graduation from ODS.  We've been in the Navy for almost 2 months now, and our family has grown.  The couple that invited me to come and stay with them in California blew me away with their generosity and support and helpfulness.  The families and wives who I met offered advice from their wisdom and experiences, and helped calm so many of my worries and fears.

It is obvious that one of the greatest blessings of this new adventure is going to be people.  The people we get to love on and serve, and the people who will (and already have!) gathered around to love and support us.

We are so blessed!  So Matt, its time to be done with school and start the part of this adventure that means being together!!

I. Can. Not. WAIT!!!!

Together!

So this past weekend we got to go see Matt.  I cannot begin to tell you how awesome and exciting it was!  When our plane landed in Rhode Island the kids just started shrieking and saying "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!!" over and over.  The nice gentleman sitting in front of us got a kick out of our lengthy conversation about whether or not the plane we were in would be landing on an aircraft carrier.

I won't keep you in suspense.  We did not land on an aircraft carrier.

But the moment we saw Matt pulling up to the curb in his NWUs (Navy Work Uniform) we were ALL shrieking.  Well, ok, I was crying like a baby more than shrieking, but we were all excited!!  Let me tell you - it is one thing to know that your husband has become a military man.  It is quite another to see him and hug him in all his military man-ness.  Amazing.

We drove to the base and got a little tour in the dark.  Sadly, Matt had to go back to his dorm for one more night, so the kids and I were on our own at the Navy lodge on base.  The next morning we walked over to the coffee shop and got to actually see an aircraft carrier!  Maybe not as exciting as landing on one, but a close second for Caleb.

We picked Matt up around noon and headed to the chow hall for lunch.  It was an experience.  The whole military culture is just so different from regular life... (as in, normally we don't listen to people getting screamed at and then marching around with their lunch trays while we eat... normally...). We spent the afternoon exploring the base, running errands, and relaxing together.  

Thursday night was a reception for the graduates and their families.  We got to meet several of Matt's ODS classmates and their sweet families!  It was so fun to start putting faces to names that I had been hearing...  Also, it was a beautiful reminder of one of the great blessings of military life: instant family.  Seriously, I think there is an openness and a level of connectedness that happens within the military community that is just different from other situations.  I think the fact that we're all walking this path together, with its twists and turns, bumps and struggles, causes us to click together more quickly.  Its such blessing to know that in this adventure we will never be alone!!

The next morning Matt was out the door early to prepare for the graduation ceremony.  It was a simple, short ceremony (which Caleb was particularly grateful for, I will say).  Watching him march in with his company was so exciting!  

After graduation we loaded up the car and started our drive south!  It was so fun to just be together.  The only place on the East Coast I've ever been is Florida, so it was also pretty fun seeing so many new places!  We got to drive through Manhattan and saw the New York City skyline...  The kids are convinced they saw the Statue of Liberty.  They didn't.  But I didn't have the heart to fight with them about it.  They also believe they saw the White House.  We're just gonna let them believe that for now, ok?  No sense bursting their bubble, right?  Right.

Saying goodbye Sunday was rough for me.  I thought it would be easier this time.  I mean, the first 5 weeks really went pretty well.  But it was harder on some levels... because the whole amazing weekend was such a reminder of what we're missing.  Matt is an incredible dad and husband.  His absence creates a little hole in our family dynamic... and when we're together, its like this glorious rush of feeling complete again.  

So I cried when we said goodbye.  And I cried when we took off... and when we landed... and when we took off... I think you get it.  Sunday was tough.

But I am so stinking proud of my husband, and this short little challenge is so worth it when I think about all of the opportunities and blessings that we can look forward to!  

So here we are, back in Colorado.  We're mostly recovered from the exhaustion and emotional-ness of Sunday, and are getting back into the swing of our routine here.  Matt's had a great start to Chaplain training, and is looking forward to the liberties he'll get to enjoy there that they didn't have at ODS.  Although I think the lengthy lectures are a challenge... We 'might' have heard this part of training called "death by powerpoint."  I don't know about you, but sitting through 7 hours of lectures is not my favorite way to spend the day...  Poor Matt!!

We're hanging in there!  Thank you so much for all your prayers, encouragement and support!  They mean so much to us...  I feel like we have so much wind at our backs, knowing that so many are behind us and rooting for us...  

6 more weeks...

Best. Surprise. Ever.

I have some exciting news.  Its the best news I could possibly have to share with all of you at this point in our journey...  But you have to keep it a secret, okay?  Because there are 2 little kids here who don't know what is coming, and the only thing that I'm as excited about as this news is seeing their reactions when they finally hear about it.

WE'RE GONNA GO SEE MATT!!!!!!!!!!!

In a week and a half we'll be hanging with Daddy at the Navy base in Newport, Rhode Island.  We'll get to explore the place he's been living for the last month, party it up at a reception for Officer Development School graduates and their families, and watch him cross this first milestone in his military career as he graduates as Lieutenant Matthew Fisher in the United States Navy.

Not only do we get to be a part of all of that, but we get to pile into his car and drive down the east coast for 2 days all together.  He graduates in Rhode Island on a Friday morning, and he reports to his next duty station, Chaplain training at Fort Jackson in South Carolina, on Sunday.  We'll fly back to Colorado from South Carolina that morning.

I knew when we left each other in August that this trip was a possibility... But I didn't know if it would be a reality.  Now that its actually happening, I am seriously beside myself with excitement and anticipation.

You want to know what the cherry on the cake is in all this?  Remember back before we parted ways we celebrated Caleb's 8th birthday; the birthday that we thought Matt would miss due to the training and separation...  Well, the morning of Caleb's 8th birthday we'll all wake up at a hotel on the east coast TOGETHER.  We fly out mid morning, so our celebration with Daddy will be short.

But Caleb is gonna get to celebrate with his Daddy.

My heart is full, and even though these last 3 and 1/2 weeks have already brought their own difficulties and struggles - missing my husband like crazy, for one - I feel so blessed.

Oh, and this is what my man will look like when we get to stand side by side and celebrate all that he has accomplished so far.

Be still my beating heart.  That's my man.

A Busy Week and an Evil Peanut

Its been a crazy week here in Colorado.  The list of "firsts" just keeps growing.  Every experience we have without Matt is a little harder and a little easier,  all at the same time.

Caleb and Ali had their first Tae Kwon Do and Gymnastics classes.  Its so fun watching them discover new things... I don't want them to see this time as just a holding ground - a place where we are simply waiting for what is to come.  I want them to live out each day to its fullest - having new experiences and enjoying the blessings here.

Also, they look really cute in their little outfits.

We also had our first trip to the Emergency Room this week.  It was my second as a parent - my first without Matt.  Monday afternoon Caleb had an allergic reaction at the lunch table at school.  It was an unexpected and terrifying phone call to receive.  By the time I reached Tavelli the nurse had administered the Epipen and Caleb was weepy, but breathing smooth and steady.  We drove to the Emergency Room, and after a few hours and lots of sweet people checking in on him, we went home.

As scary and awful as that situation was, there were so many blessings, too.  I was 15 minutes away from the school when the call came.  My mom was 1 minute away.  She was with Caleb when the nurse administered the Epipen.  It was beyond comforting to walk into the nurses office and see Caleb not alone, but snuggled up with Gramma.

When I initially got the call, I texted Matt two words: "Call me."  I didn't know if he'd even see his phone, or if there would be any way of letting him know what was going on, but he did.  And within 15 minutes they had released him from his responsibilities and we were able to talk with him through out the afternoon.  He also had to do a little legwork on base to make sure our insurance paperwork got pushed through.  So unbelievably grateful for that...

Sweet Caleb... He got to talk to Daddy for a while at the hospital.  I wish you could have seen the way his face lit up when they were chatting.  It was like all the scary events of the day faded into the background, and it was just him and Dad talking about life and all the fun things Caleb is doing.  I wasn't home that evening when Ali got to talk to Matt, but apparently she went into my parent's room and proceeded to talk Daddy's ear off for a solid 15 minutes.

So its been quite a week.  But we're hanging in there...  And whenever a moment hits when I think, "what have we done?!?"  I look at this...

And I am flooded with excitement, and joy, and pride... and I remember exactly why we're doing it.

Settling In & Looking Up

Well here we are!  We made it across 4 states and are settled into my parent's beautiful home in Fort Collins, Colorado.  Leaving Matt on Friday morning was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  When I woke up that morning I was just shaky.  The actual goodbye played out pretty much how I expected.  Hard.  Emotional.  Yucko.

But in all the sadness there was this deep confidence and hope.  I know we're doing the right thing.  I know we're walking in obedience and following where God is leading.  So even amidst the struggles and tears, I have such great joy.

And really, we are so wonderfully blessed.  The drive was so easy.  For some reason our kids don't mind sitting in the car for obscene amounts of time.  We listened to books on tape and oohed and ahhed over the beauty around us.

My parents have created such a sweet little space for us to call our own.  Caleb gets to sleep on a top bunk.  Ali gets to love on Edie (my mom's black labradoodle) to her heart's content.  I have two loving shoulders to lean on when this journey seems a little more than I can bear.  What more could a girl ask for, really?

This first week has also been an incredible blessing because both of my brothers were here to welcome us.  They are two amazing men who I adore, and who bring such joy and laughter to our lives.  Ryan flew back to the East Coast this morning, and Ben will head out in a few days.  No one can fill the Daddy-shaped hole in our hearts, but between Gramma, Papa, Uncle Ryan, and Uncle Ben, our first days apart have certainly been a little easier...

This morning was another first on this journey:  Caleb and Ali's first day at Tavelli Elementary school in Fort Collins.  I was a little terrified.  And probably on the verge of losing it.  But I did my best to stuff all of those emotions down deep and show the kids only sheer joy and excitement for their new adventure in 1st and 2nd grade!  That's what us moms do.

We feel like our insides will burst with fears and worries and uncertainties; and we smile pretty and say, "Aren't you so excited!  I'm SO excited!"  And I do mean it.  I am so excited for them!  They have the privilege of meeting so many new friends, and experiencing so many new things!  They'll be just fine.

And in all of this, I am continually reminded of my ultimate Comforter.  The One who has been with me the whole time.  The One who has gone before us and paved our way.  God is so good, and He is so incredibly faithful.

I have no reason to carry around those fears and worries and uncertainties.  It isn't always easy, but I'm doing my best to just lay them at the feet of my Savior and remember that He's got my back.

So we're hanging in there.  My phone is my constant companion these days, never knowing when Matt might text or call.  Its been so fun to hear how his experience is going.  I don't know much, but so far, so good.  Today he started the intimidating physical training part of ODS.  If he crosses your mind, I know he'd appreciate your prayers.

That's our life now.  It feels like the dust is starting to settle and I can see a little more clearly.  Onward and upward, my friends.

Almost There

These last few weeks have been so good.  I am grateful for the respite - a chance to just be still together before the biggest changes occur.  We've been able to laugh and celebrate and relax.  Caleb and Ali have spent unknown hours creating and building with the legos strewn across the basement.  Matt and I have been running, and reading, and talking.

Last week we celebrated Caleb's birthday a little early... Its the first life event that will really be impacted by our new reality.  Daddy will be on the East Coast in training when our little man turns 8 in September.  Thank goodness for Facetime and Skype.

We had the absolute blessing of spending an afternoon at Navy Pier in Chicago.  It was a fun-filled day complete with acrobatics, a bumpy boat ride, and an enormous ferris wheel...  The best part was watching the kids' reaction to it all.  The way they soak it all in and giggle out their joy is priceless.

I'm grateful for pictures like these, and the experiences we've shared this summer.  It gives me comfort knowing that we have SO many fun memories to relive and reminisce about when we're apart!

Over the weekend we took one last trip up north to see our dear friends.  It was such a joy to be together!  I might not giggle out my joy, but I'm doing my best to soak it all in...  We have been so blessed by these amazing people!

This morning I was supposed to be on the road to Colorado.  I should have hugged my husband and bravely set out on the next leg of our adventure.  But I didn't.

I just couldn't.

Yesterday all of the reasons that I had concocted in my mind for why we should leave today (even though Matt doesn't need to head east until Saturday morning) seemed silly.  Why would we drive away when we don't have to?  Tomorrow we have to.  I'll do it then.

Probably.

No really, I will.  We'll be in Fort Collins by Saturday evening and hopefully settled by Sunday.  On Tuesday the kids start school and our new/temporary life will really start!

Matt reports at the Naval Base in Newport at noon on Sunday and then enters the most physically demanding weeks of his training.  I'm not worried - he's been a machine the last few weeks.  After hundreds of sit-ups and push-ups and many, many miles of (crazy fast) running, I think he's ready.

Well, and I guess ready or not - here we go!

Thank You

I keep thinking the moment will come when this will all seem real.  But it hasn't yet.  There's still this lingering feeling like we're just on vacation, and in a few days we'll head back to life as we know it.  I'm surprised that Matt hasn't asked me to stop saying, "I can't believe it - this is so surreal!"

But it is so surreal!!  I'm still in a state of shock.  I've had months to prepare myself for this.  Countless nights I've laid awake imagining what this would be like.  I have had weeks of purging and packing.  Days filled with cleaning and trips to the storage unit.

Maybe when you change your life this drastically there is just no real way to anticipate or prepare.  But here's what I do know:

Moving is the pits.

I think our stuff was multiplying - no joke.  I'd pack 5 things and then suddenly 47 would appear where those 5 once were.  It felt endless and super annoying.

But its done, thanks to the grace of God and the help of some amazing friends.  Really, I couldn't have done it without them.  So here's a shout out and a thank you to YOU - you know who you are...

...to the one who brought tape and notecards a month ago to get me started and organized
...to the one who organized and repacked the disaster that was my basement with me
...to the ones who watched my kids so I could go into beast mode and pack uninterrupted
...to the one who drove 2 hours to help me pack my kitchen
...to the ones who offered to help every day, making me feel so supported and loved
...to the one who came over near the end when packing is the worst and helped me pack
...to the one who cleaned out my fridge, wiped down the cabinets, and vacuumed the house
...to the ones who invited us into their home our last night, fed us and let us sleep in their beds

...to the church that sent us off with such love and encouragement

You all are amazing.

This is one of the great beauties of life - people gathering together and lifting each other up.  Even moving is a little less daunting when you have a whole village helping you do it...

So it got done.  And here we are - waiting.  Still waiting for Matt's orders so we know what his actual role on base will be.  Waiting till the day comes when we have to say goodbye to each other and gather up our wits for 3 months of long distance loving.

Waiting for the day we get to move to 29 Palms and start living out what we're longing to do!

Its not so bad.  I think a forced respite after the chaos of the last month is actually a pretty great thing.  And today we are celebrating our 10th anniversary.  I can't help but think how cool it is that we are starting this adventure right at this milestone in our life together.

I couldn't be more excited for the opportunity before us, and I couldn't be more excited about the man I get to stand next to and do it with.

So thanks to each and every one of you who have been a part of getting us here.  I'm so grateful...

Radical

A neat thing happened a month ago when I called the kid's school in Fort Collins, Colorado.  It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it was pretty overwhelming to me.  I was talking to the principal, trying to see if our kids could attend Tavelli even though my parent's house technically feeds a different school (farther away).  School choice had closed in February, so I was *only* about 6 months late.  I figured it was hardly even worth asking, but I did anyway.

And I'm glad I did.  Because she was so incredibly committed to making it work.  She seemed so excited that we wanted Caleb and Ali at Tavelli, and she seemed to feel sincere sympathy for our situation.  At the end of the conversation she said something I had never heard before, and I found myself having to work to hold it together.

"Oh, and would you please tell your husband that we thank him for his service."

Such a short sentence packed with such meaning to me.  We thank him for his service.  

Then I made another phone call earlier this week to the military housing office to talk about our big move, and I was blown away again.  This time by just one little word.

Ma'am.

I think the young man I was speaking with said ma'am a minimum of 500 times.  Seriously.  I felt like the First Lady or something... For the first 5 minutes it felt nice having someone speak to me with such politeness and respect.  And then I desperately wanted to tell him to quit it and just call me Erin.  

But that's not an option.

Because there is a level of respect that guides life in the military.  There are ranks, and while the separation sometimes seems over the top, it is absolutely necessary.  I think our country has deepened its respect for the men and women who sacrifice their lives for the sake of our safety and freedom.  So there is honor bestowed not just within the military, but from those outside of the military as well.

I'm not going to lie, this is a different response than we normally receive when talking about what we do.  I guess becoming a Chaplain in the military seems radical.  And on some levels, I suppose it is.  We are giving up some of life's typical comforts, but we are also walking into a new type of family that I know we will grow to love and be continually blessed by.

What it makes me think, though, is that somehow we've lost the sense of radicalness in our daily life.  You don't have to join the military to be radical.  You don't have to go overseas and become a missionary in a third world country to be radical.  You don't have to sell all your stuff and 'adopt' 47 Compassion children to be radical.

You can extend a hand of compassion to someone in need.  You can make a change in your life that bucks convention and puts Christ at the center.  You can sacrifice something you love in order to bring joy and blessing to someone else.  You can put others before yourself and daily die to your self-serving desires.

That's radical.

So we're doing it in the context of the military.  But you can do it in whatever context you find yourself each and every day.  And when you do, you might be surprised at the reaction.  As hard as it is to sacrifice our own comforts and desires, we are honored and blessed when we do.  

And that phrase the principal at Tavelli spoke to me that moved me so much?  Well, as you surrender your life to Christ and live radically with Him at the center of everything, you can be certain that you'll hear your own version of that powerful phrase one day.  It might be worded a little differently, but it will pack an even stronger punch.  

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

California Dreamin'

Wow.  This month is seriously flying by.  It is so hard for me to believe that we're halfway through our last month of 'normal' life before everything gets crazy.  Its already crazy, really...  But the reality of the journey we're about to begin will get much more real when Matt is on the East Coast at Officer Development School and we're in Fort Collins, Colorado, living with my parents.  Its just weird even typing that out.  Yikes.

Anyway, you might have noticed a few changes to this blog.  The title, for one.  When I started writing a few years ago it was for a very specific purpose:  I wanted to reach out to and encourage the girls in our youth group throughout the week when I was not with them.  I wanted this to be a place on the world wide web that was safe for them to turn to and find truth and honesty.  Hence, the Hill for Girls.

Over the last couple of years I haven't written much - the pace of life and the ages of my kids seemed to distract me from making this a priority.  But now I find myself with lots to say, and I am realizing that the purpose and primary audience for this blog is changing...  I am no longer writing with teenage girls in mind.

I am writing with my husband in mind.

I am writing with family members all over the world in mind.

I am writing with the knowledge that these blog posts will be the primary connection point between me and many of the people I love.

Mostly, I am writing to chronicle the start of what I believe will be an epic journey.  We are walking into the unknown, confident that this is where God is calling us to go... But completely unaware of all that it will entail.  Seriously, I have no idea what my life will actually look like in 6 months.  That's why this is now called "Our Life Now."  Because that's all I know.  Life right now.

I don't know what life will look like in a month, or two months, or a year.  But I can tell you our story for now... And when things change - as they will all too often - this is where you can find the tidbits of information to stay somewhat in the loop.

So here's our current scoop for those of you who like the details.  I love details.  They seem to be few, far between, and ever changing.  But the ones I have, I cling to.

Matt's last day at our church is July 31st.  Strangely enough, that's also the exact day we have to be out of our condo.  Over the next 2 weeks we'll be loading most of our precious belongings into a storage unit near here.  We'll head to Illinois for a short break and some time together.

By mid August Matt will be headed to Rhode Island and the kids and I will be on our way to Colorado.  The kids are enrolled at Tavelli Elementary School in Fort Collins.  They already know who their teachers will be and have seen pictures online.  So sweet - they are excited.

Matt has schooling for 3 months.  Our first separation.  If we cross your mind, pray for us.

He graduates from Chaplain training on November 15th.  After that we are headed to 29 Palms, California.  Now before you get all excited thinking that we'll be living some sort of glamorous ocean-front life for 3 years, Google 29 Palms.  Its 3 hours from the ocean in the middle of the Mojave Desert.  Its probably 124 degrees there today.  Or something like that.

29 Palms is a Marine Air Ground Combat Training Center.  For those of you who are confused because Matt was commissioned in the Navy, the Marines do not have their own chaplains, so Navy chaplains are assigned to Marine bases as well.

The most exciting news, in my opinion, is that this first assignment is non-deployable.  That's right.  If we can survive the 3-4 month separation this fall we can count on at least a few years before another long separation is required.

Oh hallelujah.

So there it is.  Beyond that, I am learning to be patient and flexible.  Working on what it looks like truly believe that God has it in His hands.  Its funny how easy it is to believe that when your life is predictable and stable.  When you are thrust into the unknown it suddenly becomes a much more difficult exercise of faith...

For now, I am packing, cleaning, trying to have some fun with the kids, and spending precious time with the beautiful friends God has blessed me with here.  I will do my best to live in the moment; cherishing the time we have.

I am so grateful for this life we are living now.

Grateful for you, too...

Becoming a Navy Chaplain's Wife

Do you need to reread the title and make sure you're not seeing things?  It's not a typo.  On Friday, June 14th, Matt was commissioned as a Chaplain in the Navy.  Based off of most of the reactions we've received when telling people the news, I'm guessing this is a surprise to you.  That said, I thought I'd take a moment and tell you how we got here.

Here's our story...

About 4 years ago Matt and I were processing through a potential transition.  We talked about a lot of possibilites; going to another church, planting a church, going on staff with Campus Crusade, etc etc.  One afternoon Matt threw out the possibility of becoming a Chaplain.  I don't remember my exact response, but I am quite certain it was an emphatical no, probably emphasized with some intense and unkind choices in wording.  Needless to say, he never brought it up again.

At that point in my life it was an impossible and awful thought - my husband being away from me.  I was sick just thinking about what life would look like in that scenario.  I signed up to be a pastor's wife, not a chaplain's wife, after all.  I wanted to serve God and sacrifice my life - to a point.  Apparently chaplaincy was a little too far beyond that point.

Life moved forward, and we continued ministry in the context of a church setting.  We continued to talk about the possibility of doing something outside of the local church one day.  Our passions and personalities sometimes seem more wired for outreach-focused ministries...  But again, chaplaincy was never even a thought that crossed my mind.

Until one Sunday in November, that is.

It was Veteran's Day, November 11th, 2012.  Our church celebrated the occasion in typical fashion - honoring our veterans, displaying an American flag, and playing a slide show of all of those connected to our congregation who have served or are currently serving.  It was a nice service, but there was honestly nothing out of the ordinary that day.

Until God spoke.

Ok - I know that sounds potentially weird.  And kind of charismatic.  But I'm telling you - if you could have felt what I felt in that sudden and life-changing moment you'd say it that bluntly too...

No... I didn't actually hear an audible voice.  But out of no where I felt a weight on my chest - like my heart sunk right down to my toes.  Not in a bad, devastating way, but in a moment of sudden clarity and vision. It happened in an instant.  There was no question in my mind as to what God was speaking to me.

You are going to be a chaplain's wife.  

You are going to get over your selfish fears and stand next to your husband on this journey.  You are going to love on the young moms and lonely wives whose husband's are away.  You are going to wash their dishes, make them dinner, and babysit their kids.  You are going to erase the line and serve and sacrifice to the very end of yourself.

Matt wasn't sitting with me during this little revelation.  It was an interesting conversation when we were both finally home that afternoon.  I think I said something like this:

"Matt, this is going to sound weird.  But I felt like God was speaking straight to me today.  And I think He was telling me that you're supposed to become a chaplain."

As I remember it, Matt broke out into a wide smile that seemed to shout "Finally!"  I wouldn't say it was something he had been secretly longing for the last 4 years... but I do think it was something he had wished was at least an option on the table.  So from that point forward it was all about researching, and talking, and praying, and talking...  I think we processed together more in those first months that in our almost 10 years of marriage.

Each step of the way we sensed affirmation that this was what God was calling us to.  Our hearts kept growing in excitement for the life and ministry that this would provide.  When you sit down and think about it, it makes sense.  Matt's greatest joys in ministry to this point have been all of the things we've done to serve and love on our local communities.  He gets most excited when we're out just doing random acts of kindness as a youth group.  He loves giving people a tangible picture of the love of Jesus.

As a chaplain, he'll have the opportunity each and every day to serve.  He'll have the privilege of showing support and extending compassion to people coming from every different kind of life.  He'll come face to face with individuals whose beliefs are similar, and with those whose beliefs are completely different.  And he'll get to minister to and love on them all.

What a privilege.

I can honestly say that I'm excited.  Don't get me wrong - thoughts of deployment and separation are painful.  But the confidence I have in my God outweighs those fears.  I know He will be with me - I will never be alone.

So the next step in our journey begins.

The kids and I will head to Colorado to stay with my family while Matt is in Officer Training and Chaplain school.  By the new year we should be headed to our first destination.  We're hoping its overseas...  but we're willing to go wherever.

Now don't get me wrong - through all of this excitement there is a sadness in my heart about leaving this place we are now.  I am so grateful for this church and the many people who have come alongside us, encouraged us, and walked with us.  You are treasures to me, and I do not move forward lightly.  But just like I know and believe that God has called us and will go with us - I know that He is calling you and is standing next to you as well.

You're on an adventure, too.

And if there is any advice to give from what I've learned over this last year, it would be this:  that thing you've been saying "never" about?  Well, just don't be surprised if that's the very thing that causes your heart to sink down to your toes and your chest to burn with excitement one day.

Erase the line.  Follow Jesus wherever He leads.

It won't always be easy... but it will be worth it.