The Modesty Gestapo

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you might have noticed that I purchased a new swimsuit online today. To say that I am excited about it might be an understatement. Swimsuits and I have had a long history of not getting along. I suppose I shouldn't be getting too excited yet seeing as how I haven't even tried it on, but I have good vibes about this one. . . I think we were meant to be.

I stumbled upon the website doing a Google search for "modest swimsuits." The first few sites listed were geared towards Mormon, Christian, Muslim and Jewish women. I didn't even try those sites. I had a sneaking suspicion that their swimsuits would be a little less than fabulous. I know that is judgmental and that I should never assume things like that; but I did.

You see, I used the word "modest" in my Google search because the style of swimsuit that I happen to feel most comfortable in fits within that general category. Now, the word modest is a big word in the Christian world, but I didn't use it because I believe that it has any magical power to make me a better Christ follower. To be really honest, I have come to the point where the word modesty kinda gives me the heebee jeebees.

Here is the deal. I don't like the rules that Christian society has created to happily wrap up and market this whole idea of modesty. I don't like it because I don't think it accurately reflects the heart of God.

I believe that when the bible talks about things related to modesty, we are meant to be challenged on the inside, not the outside. I believe that "modesty" can and does mean different things in different cultures. You can't make everything black and white.

But here is what IS black and white. A modest heart is one that seeks to honor Christ above all else. A modest mind is one that is consumed with serving others and lifting others up instead of making itself the continual center of attention. A modest appearance is one that does not demand negative and inappropriate attention, but one that displays the beauty of God's wonderful creative powers and the confidence of a girl defined not by her looks but by her status as a daughter of the Almighty Father.

I will never give you swimsuit rules because God hasn't given us swimsuit rules. He has given us His own Spirit as an internal guide and source of wisdom. Now, if I happen to run into you on the beach and your appearance is so provocative that I feel scandalous standing next to you I might say something. But it won't be a critique of your swimwear. It will be a challenge to enter into the presence of your Father and seek out His perspective on the state of your heart and the source of your self worth.

I started reading a great little e-book the other day called "Lies My Pastor Told Me." One of the lies is that the bible is a book of rules. I hope you know that isn't true. There are rules in the bible, but the primary purpose of the bible is to reveal the true story of the whole world and God's heart towards us. We add to those rules to make ourselves feel more comfortable, to give us identifiable boundaries to live within, and to guide and instruct the people around us. Rule making isn't always born out of impure motives; in fact, I think it is usually born out of a desire to lead people closer to Christ. But the problem with rules is that the result isn't usually to draw people to Christ. On the contrary, rules often leave people feeling judged, inadequate, and condemned.

I like modest swimsuits because I like to sit in the sand with my kids and run around the beach without having to "adjust" my suit 8,000 times.

Your swimsuit might look very different, and I think that is just fine. Inasmuch as your desire is to honor Christ in all that you do, then I believe you have the freedom to choose whatever kind of swimsuit accurately reflects that relationship.

I guess if I were to create a swimsuit rule it would be this: love Jesus with all your heart, and mind, and soul, and strength. . . and then go buy the most fabulous and comfortable swimsuit you lay your sweet little eyes on!

The Jesus Stamp of Approval

Last weekend I attended a womens conference at my church. I was the high school small group leader, so I admittedly walked into it with more expectations for how God would work in the lives of the girls than how He would work in my own life.

I believe that God did work in the girls lives - but through out the entire weekend I felt like the focus of His presence and attention rested right on me. He spoke to me last weekend, and I came face to face with the perpetual struggle within my soul.

Galatians 1:10 says this:
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

And that, my friends, is the nature of the battle I fight inside. I think this verse should be tattooed on my forehead so that I never forget it. I could share the hundreds of ways that God has shown me that the approval of others is pointless, but I can also tell you that though this battle has been much easier and much less frequent as a result of those lessons, it is still one that I face.

Here is the cool thing: when God was laying that verse on my heart last weekend I was thinking very specifically about ways in which I had recently been consumed with worry about what others thought of me or my family. I assumed that God was humbling me (which, I'm sure He was), and that He was correcting wrong thinking that I had allowed to creep back in over recent days and weeks.

Alright girls, now fast forward one week. I have decided that God's plans are much bigger than we could ever know (surprise!). God was not just humbling me or correcting my thinking; He was preparing me for a battle that was soon to come.

You see, I had no idea that I would face another situation a week later in which my heart would be shredded in the attempt to seek approval from others. Sometimes we don't see what is coming - but God does. He knew that I would need to have a fresh reminder of what actually matters so that I could walk through the next week without completely falling apart.

Oh how I love Him, my Father God!

There is such confidence and hope and joy when we understand and live by the truth of His word. How awesome that we can truly be unconcerned with the opinions of others and totally consumed with the perspective of our Savior. There is one man - one Spirit - one God whose opinion actually matters.

If we take Galatians 1:10 at its word, then I would go so far as to say that it is impossible to serve Christ and seek approval from others. And lets get one thing straight here: this verse is referring to any kind of approval outside of God's approval. There is no distinction here between approval from ungodly or worldy people and approval from brothers and sisters in Christ. I can be no more consumed with the opinions of other Christians than I can with people whose beliefs are completely opposed to mine.

I want to be a servant of Christ. I want to honor Him with every moment and every breath. I am daily praying that I would continue to understand the freedom that I have so intensely tasted and to then carry that freedom to every dark place in my heart in every difficult situation I face.

Are you consumed with what others think of you? Let me assure you that when you get to heaven and stand before Christ you will not hear this: "Well, I don't know honey. I mean, Erin Fisher thought you were pretty awesome, but this girl Betty thought you were kinda lame. I just don't know if I want to associate with someone lame, you know?"

The heart of Christ is pure and unblemished, and when we seek His approval we are safe and free to live the lives that we were called to live. We will experience life to the fullest and joy unparalleled.

Are you now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or are you trying to please men? If you are still trying to please men, you cannot be a servant of Christ.

I can promise you something wonderful, too. As you work to seek the approval of Christ and live for Him alone you will soon understand something amazing about the "Jesus stamp of approval."

You already have it. . . just as you are.

Out of Control

Yesterday we went to a birthday party at the fire station for a little boy in Caleb's class. It was so sweet watching the kids excitedly climb all over the fire engines and talk to the firefighters.

And then it was time to open presents.

Have you ever watched 5 year olds at birthday parties? If not, I can sum up the experience in 3 words: out of control. Even though all of the kids know that the presents aren't for them, they have this insane need to claw their way to the front and get in the birthday boy's face and analyze his loot (of course, all of this at the expense of the softer and meeker 5 year olds who they have trampled on their way forward). I'm seriously not exaggerating.

Now, it might be easy for me to start feeling a little proud of my little guy in these moments. I could take credit and feel smug that his present was the last one opened because he was patiently circling around the outskirts of the mob waiting for his chance to offer the birthday boy his gift.

But that would be misplaced pride.

Caleb is no less consumed with receiving presents. He's just smaller and a little less aggressive than some of the other kids his age. I could try every tactic in the book to make him selfless at age 5, but it won't happen. He might not have been body slamming anyone to make it to the front of the mob, but his heart is filled with the same self-obsession that drove the others to such behavior (ok, ok, no one was actually body slamming. . . but almost. . . ).

Have you ever tried to explain to a 5 year old that it is more blessed to give than to receive? Do you have any idea how strange and completely impossible that seems to them?

I can promise you that I will do my best to instill a desire to give in my children. But I can also promise that this is a lesson that takes time, deeper understanding, and usually the Spirit of God moving within.

You know, these truths don't just apply to 5 year olds and selfishness.

I have experienced the goodness of God, the absolute truth of His word, and the amazing blessing that comes from walking with Him. I have found freedom and identity and great purpose through Christ, and my life is abundant and full and wonderful.

That doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It just means that everyday is a gift from my Father and with Him steadfast at my side there is nothing that will deter me or destroy me.

Have you experienced this? Do you know what this is like?

Oh. Words cannot express, can they? But have you ever tried to explain that great identity and joy and purpose to someone and have them deny the truths that you have experienced so fully? Have you ever been rejected for your faith by someone who finds it impossible to believe that what you are saying can actually be truth?

Makes me think of the birthday party. Now - don't get me wrong - I'm not comparing the maturity level or intellectual ability of unbelievers to 5 year olds. I am simply acknowledging that just like I cannot convince my 5 year old that it is really better to give than to receive, we cannot convince someone that our faith is real and that our God is good.

It doesn't matter how hard we try. I cannot take a heart that is against God and make it for God. I might have the most powerful story and the most perfect illustration. . . but it doesn't matter.

I can only do my best to impart the beauty and freedom and joy of the truths that I have learned. I can only pray that God will move in the hearts of those I love that they might see the truth of the words I speak.

I can see a little light in Caleb's heart. I think he'll get it one day. There will come a time when he will choose to bless someone else instead of hoarding everything for himself.

And I pray - quite desperately - that the same will happen in the hearts of dear friends and total strangers who have yet to experience the joy of complete surrender to Jesus. There will come a day when they will see Jesus and choose to believe that He is who He said He was, and that He can do what He said He can do.

Awesome Acts

When I was in high school (and college, for that matter) my dad had a funny habit of adding adjectives to boys' names who I seemed to be crushin' on. I don't remember all of them, but my prom date's nickname is forever cemented in my brain: Awesome Adam.

I'm sure Adam was, in fact, awesome, but I was unfortunately never able to experience that awesomeness first hand. Prom was a bit of a disaster for me, and I have to honestly admit that it was all my fault. But that is another story for another post. . .

If I was going to follow in my dad's foot steps and add adjectives to proper nouns (lets say, perhaps, books of the bible?) I have decided I would definitely use the word Awesome to describe Acts. Its not only perfect because it starts with an A, but because it is the best word I know of to describe the power, passion, and transformation that the book records.

Have you read Acts lately? If not, I think you should. Start at the beginning, and put yourself in the shoes of the Apostles who are experiencing these wild moments together for the very first time. . . I think you'll leave feeling much the same way I do.

All the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person's need was met. They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved. Acts 2:44-47 (the message)

Awesome Acts. Need I say any more?