A Busy Week and an Evil Peanut

Its been a crazy week here in Colorado.  The list of "firsts" just keeps growing.  Every experience we have without Matt is a little harder and a little easier,  all at the same time.

Caleb and Ali had their first Tae Kwon Do and Gymnastics classes.  Its so fun watching them discover new things... I don't want them to see this time as just a holding ground - a place where we are simply waiting for what is to come.  I want them to live out each day to its fullest - having new experiences and enjoying the blessings here.

Also, they look really cute in their little outfits.

We also had our first trip to the Emergency Room this week.  It was my second as a parent - my first without Matt.  Monday afternoon Caleb had an allergic reaction at the lunch table at school.  It was an unexpected and terrifying phone call to receive.  By the time I reached Tavelli the nurse had administered the Epipen and Caleb was weepy, but breathing smooth and steady.  We drove to the Emergency Room, and after a few hours and lots of sweet people checking in on him, we went home.

As scary and awful as that situation was, there were so many blessings, too.  I was 15 minutes away from the school when the call came.  My mom was 1 minute away.  She was with Caleb when the nurse administered the Epipen.  It was beyond comforting to walk into the nurses office and see Caleb not alone, but snuggled up with Gramma.

When I initially got the call, I texted Matt two words: "Call me."  I didn't know if he'd even see his phone, or if there would be any way of letting him know what was going on, but he did.  And within 15 minutes they had released him from his responsibilities and we were able to talk with him through out the afternoon.  He also had to do a little legwork on base to make sure our insurance paperwork got pushed through.  So unbelievably grateful for that...

Sweet Caleb... He got to talk to Daddy for a while at the hospital.  I wish you could have seen the way his face lit up when they were chatting.  It was like all the scary events of the day faded into the background, and it was just him and Dad talking about life and all the fun things Caleb is doing.  I wasn't home that evening when Ali got to talk to Matt, but apparently she went into my parent's room and proceeded to talk Daddy's ear off for a solid 15 minutes.

So its been quite a week.  But we're hanging in there...  And whenever a moment hits when I think, "what have we done?!?"  I look at this...

And I am flooded with excitement, and joy, and pride... and I remember exactly why we're doing it.

Settling In & Looking Up

Well here we are!  We made it across 4 states and are settled into my parent's beautiful home in Fort Collins, Colorado.  Leaving Matt on Friday morning was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  When I woke up that morning I was just shaky.  The actual goodbye played out pretty much how I expected.  Hard.  Emotional.  Yucko.

But in all the sadness there was this deep confidence and hope.  I know we're doing the right thing.  I know we're walking in obedience and following where God is leading.  So even amidst the struggles and tears, I have such great joy.

And really, we are so wonderfully blessed.  The drive was so easy.  For some reason our kids don't mind sitting in the car for obscene amounts of time.  We listened to books on tape and oohed and ahhed over the beauty around us.

My parents have created such a sweet little space for us to call our own.  Caleb gets to sleep on a top bunk.  Ali gets to love on Edie (my mom's black labradoodle) to her heart's content.  I have two loving shoulders to lean on when this journey seems a little more than I can bear.  What more could a girl ask for, really?

This first week has also been an incredible blessing because both of my brothers were here to welcome us.  They are two amazing men who I adore, and who bring such joy and laughter to our lives.  Ryan flew back to the East Coast this morning, and Ben will head out in a few days.  No one can fill the Daddy-shaped hole in our hearts, but between Gramma, Papa, Uncle Ryan, and Uncle Ben, our first days apart have certainly been a little easier...

This morning was another first on this journey:  Caleb and Ali's first day at Tavelli Elementary school in Fort Collins.  I was a little terrified.  And probably on the verge of losing it.  But I did my best to stuff all of those emotions down deep and show the kids only sheer joy and excitement for their new adventure in 1st and 2nd grade!  That's what us moms do.

We feel like our insides will burst with fears and worries and uncertainties; and we smile pretty and say, "Aren't you so excited!  I'm SO excited!"  And I do mean it.  I am so excited for them!  They have the privilege of meeting so many new friends, and experiencing so many new things!  They'll be just fine.

And in all of this, I am continually reminded of my ultimate Comforter.  The One who has been with me the whole time.  The One who has gone before us and paved our way.  God is so good, and He is so incredibly faithful.

I have no reason to carry around those fears and worries and uncertainties.  It isn't always easy, but I'm doing my best to just lay them at the feet of my Savior and remember that He's got my back.

So we're hanging in there.  My phone is my constant companion these days, never knowing when Matt might text or call.  Its been so fun to hear how his experience is going.  I don't know much, but so far, so good.  Today he started the intimidating physical training part of ODS.  If he crosses your mind, I know he'd appreciate your prayers.

That's our life now.  It feels like the dust is starting to settle and I can see a little more clearly.  Onward and upward, my friends.

Almost There

These last few weeks have been so good.  I am grateful for the respite - a chance to just be still together before the biggest changes occur.  We've been able to laugh and celebrate and relax.  Caleb and Ali have spent unknown hours creating and building with the legos strewn across the basement.  Matt and I have been running, and reading, and talking.

Last week we celebrated Caleb's birthday a little early... Its the first life event that will really be impacted by our new reality.  Daddy will be on the East Coast in training when our little man turns 8 in September.  Thank goodness for Facetime and Skype.

We had the absolute blessing of spending an afternoon at Navy Pier in Chicago.  It was a fun-filled day complete with acrobatics, a bumpy boat ride, and an enormous ferris wheel...  The best part was watching the kids' reaction to it all.  The way they soak it all in and giggle out their joy is priceless.

I'm grateful for pictures like these, and the experiences we've shared this summer.  It gives me comfort knowing that we have SO many fun memories to relive and reminisce about when we're apart!

Over the weekend we took one last trip up north to see our dear friends.  It was such a joy to be together!  I might not giggle out my joy, but I'm doing my best to soak it all in...  We have been so blessed by these amazing people!

This morning I was supposed to be on the road to Colorado.  I should have hugged my husband and bravely set out on the next leg of our adventure.  But I didn't.

I just couldn't.

Yesterday all of the reasons that I had concocted in my mind for why we should leave today (even though Matt doesn't need to head east until Saturday morning) seemed silly.  Why would we drive away when we don't have to?  Tomorrow we have to.  I'll do it then.

Probably.

No really, I will.  We'll be in Fort Collins by Saturday evening and hopefully settled by Sunday.  On Tuesday the kids start school and our new/temporary life will really start!

Matt reports at the Naval Base in Newport at noon on Sunday and then enters the most physically demanding weeks of his training.  I'm not worried - he's been a machine the last few weeks.  After hundreds of sit-ups and push-ups and many, many miles of (crazy fast) running, I think he's ready.

Well, and I guess ready or not - here we go!

Thank You

I keep thinking the moment will come when this will all seem real.  But it hasn't yet.  There's still this lingering feeling like we're just on vacation, and in a few days we'll head back to life as we know it.  I'm surprised that Matt hasn't asked me to stop saying, "I can't believe it - this is so surreal!"

But it is so surreal!!  I'm still in a state of shock.  I've had months to prepare myself for this.  Countless nights I've laid awake imagining what this would be like.  I have had weeks of purging and packing.  Days filled with cleaning and trips to the storage unit.

Maybe when you change your life this drastically there is just no real way to anticipate or prepare.  But here's what I do know:

Moving is the pits.

I think our stuff was multiplying - no joke.  I'd pack 5 things and then suddenly 47 would appear where those 5 once were.  It felt endless and super annoying.

But its done, thanks to the grace of God and the help of some amazing friends.  Really, I couldn't have done it without them.  So here's a shout out and a thank you to YOU - you know who you are...

...to the one who brought tape and notecards a month ago to get me started and organized
...to the one who organized and repacked the disaster that was my basement with me
...to the ones who watched my kids so I could go into beast mode and pack uninterrupted
...to the one who drove 2 hours to help me pack my kitchen
...to the ones who offered to help every day, making me feel so supported and loved
...to the one who came over near the end when packing is the worst and helped me pack
...to the one who cleaned out my fridge, wiped down the cabinets, and vacuumed the house
...to the ones who invited us into their home our last night, fed us and let us sleep in their beds

...to the church that sent us off with such love and encouragement

You all are amazing.

This is one of the great beauties of life - people gathering together and lifting each other up.  Even moving is a little less daunting when you have a whole village helping you do it...

So it got done.  And here we are - waiting.  Still waiting for Matt's orders so we know what his actual role on base will be.  Waiting till the day comes when we have to say goodbye to each other and gather up our wits for 3 months of long distance loving.

Waiting for the day we get to move to 29 Palms and start living out what we're longing to do!

Its not so bad.  I think a forced respite after the chaos of the last month is actually a pretty great thing.  And today we are celebrating our 10th anniversary.  I can't help but think how cool it is that we are starting this adventure right at this milestone in our life together.

I couldn't be more excited for the opportunity before us, and I couldn't be more excited about the man I get to stand next to and do it with.

So thanks to each and every one of you who have been a part of getting us here.  I'm so grateful...