Bus Stop Lovin'

I am a child of God. I am precious beyond measure in His eyes. I am beautiful, loved, accepted, forgiven, cleansed, and renewed. I can feel the power and presence of God in the deepest parts of my soul, and no amount of clever debating by those who disagree will ever cause me to doubt these truths.

But I didn't just muster up this confidence on my own. I didn't talk myself into this corner and I am not sustained here by the wisdom of my own mind.

God Himself has taken up residence in my body and His Holy Spirit is every day affirming these truths - convincing my heart to believe that somehow the great God of the Universe, whose glory, perfection and might are beyond measure, has chosen me and loves me without end.

I am grateful for the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life because it would be difficult for me to truly believe those things were it not for Him. . .

For a long time it was hard for me to believe any one's compliments or encouragements. I was always insecure and in some ways ashamed. I remember sitting at a bus stop with a friend in college and having some random guy come up to me and tell me I was beautiful. When I think back to that incident now, I believe that he was probably being sincere, but that day - I wasn't so sure.

It seemed much more likely to me that he was fulfilling a bet with one of his buddies, and I spent the rest of the day analyzing why on earth he would ever come up to me and say something like that. I didn't really believe him. And he didn't really do anything to try and convince me. He just said it, and left.

I feel like that is how a lot of people see God. This distant deity who once a long time ago sent His Son to die for them. . . like Jesus just pulled over at the bus stop for a brief moment to say, "Hey, I love you. You're beautiful." and then sped off to handle more important affairs in the universe.

I hope you know that the Bible contradicts that scenario outright. As I read through the gospels and meditate on the stories of how Jesus interacted with people when He was here, I see a loving God who desperately wants us to know and believe that He loves us. . . One who is willing to go to unfathomable lengths to assure us it is true.

He hasn't left us here to wander, and we don't have to muster some fake confidence to make it seem like we're certain when we're really lost and confused.

He has sent His Holy Spirit to be with us and in us. His Spirit moves in our hearts and gives us the assurance that we could never find apart from His presence. Even in the darkest moments of our lives when we feel like we've failed too many times, His Holy Spirit is there - comforting our grieving hearts, challenging our spirits to walk in His ways, and giving us that constant assurance that we are still His, and we are still loved.

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. Romans 8:15-16

If you don't feel that confidence, and if you haven't experienced such unmovable assurance, then you need to sit down and ask yourself some serious questions about where you're at with God. . . because the bible makes it clear; when we receive Jesus as the Lord and Savior of our lives, we receive His Holy Spirit in our souls. . . and once the Holy Spirit takes up residence within us, the changes will be dramatic and unexplainable. . . we will have unmovable assurance in the love of our Father.

I feel mushy

I am a blogging failure.

I knew this would happen. On some level, I really tried to convince myself that it wouldn't, but that inner voice that is compelled by reason instead of emotion is saying, " I told you so!" right now.

My daily life during the ministry year doesn't allow much room for blogging. It doesn't allow much room to even think about all of the things I could potentially blog about if I had the time to sit down and write. My brain is consumed with the practicalities of ministry rather than the philosophical meditations of living life with Jesus.

There are some days (like today), when there seems to be no good reason that I can't think or read or write, other than the mere fact that my brain feels like mush. I am praying that this phase passes, though, because my heart is aching to be filled with new understanding, a fresh fire and a vibrant passion.

I don't ever want the chaos of life (even ministry itself) to distract me from the most important and all-consuming part of me.

Jesus.

Pray that my mushy mind would reconstruct and meaningfully engage over God's truth. . . and that through His powerful Spirit I would find words to express the beauty and awe of the truth of my Savior. . .

And please know that even when my mushy mind can't find words I am wordlessly praying for you!

Lesson of the week. . .

Do you ever feel like everything you hear or read keeps pointing you back to a specific topic? Like maybe God is trying to tell you something by repeatedly bringing up the same issue? I remember writing in my journal one day (as a very young girl) that everything around me seemed to be dealing with female issues, and wondering what that meant. Turns out it didn't mean much of anything, besides pointing out the obvious fact that I was thinking and obsessing a lot about female issues when I was 11.

Well, I'm having the same feeling right now (thankfully not about female issues), and am wondering if it is just mere coincidence or if God is trying to get my attention. We started a sermon series a few weeks ago on the Holy Spirit. During bible study with my girls last week we had a phenomonal revelation about the Holy Spirit and Jesus' baptism, and the new bible study I started this week has so far focused quite a bit on the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

In addition to what I am learning about the Holy Spirit, I have also these last several days been facing situations in which I desperately needed the Holy Spirit to provide wisdom, discernment and direction.

To be totally honest, I haven't thought much about the Holy Spirit in the past. I'm beginning to think that I need to spend a lot more time thinking about Him and understanding Him if I'm going to experience success in this Christian life!!

It is pretty amazing to think about all that the Spirit does in our lives. . . After all, Jesus did say that it would be better for us to have the Holy Spirit in us than Jesus Christ Himself with us. Pretty hard to understand why Jesus would say that - until you start to understand who the Holy Spirit is and what He is capable of. . . I hope you feel the power and presence of the Holy Spirit in your life - I'm praying for more of Him in mine today!!

But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate [Holy Spirit] won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you. Acts 16:7

'Atta girl

A little encouragement goes a long way. It is amazing how simple words can change the course of a day. I am so grateful for the people in my life who choose to verbalize the warm fuzzies they feel, because it gives me the strength and determination to wake up tomorrow and do it all again.

We need encouragement - every single one of us. . . We need to know that even when things are difficult and discouraging there is hope and joy and potential untapped. . . I know that God is still here, and that my faithfulness still honors Him and brings Him great joy, even when it feels like no one else recognizes it or applauds it. . . but, it is still good to hear it from the people who God has put in my path.

Oh, how I needed that encouragement today. I am a pastor's wife, and with that role comes great joy, fulfillment, responsibility. . . and sometimes, great struggle. I've had a hard time knowing what to write these last few days, because what is most on my heart and mind is not the stuff to be verbalizing on my blog. . . but know that my love for Christ is always strengthened by the difficulties I face - and my passion for ministry never decreases even when the struggles and stresses of ministry seem overwhelming!

I hope there is someone in your world putting words to their warm fuzzies too. . . reminding you that you are God's child, His precious one, and that His love for you is greater than any difficulty you will ever face.

I hope we all wake up tomorrow with the strength and determination to live wholeheartedly, unashamedly, and boldly for the One who lived and struggled and suffered and conquered for us!!

Stop asking why

We ask a lot of questions. It starts when we're little (ie the perpetual "Why, Mommy?" that can drive moms crazy) and continues through adulthood. We wonder why we have to do our homework, why math matters if we want to be a music teacher, why everybody can't just get along, and why any of this matters in the first place.

Questions are good. They force us to really think about what we're doing and why we're doing it. In matters of faith questions are an absolute necessity. There are way too many people out there who don't really have any idea what they believe or why they believe it. I have grown so much and learned so much as a result of other people questioning my faith. I'm grateful for the challenges those questions provide and the opportunity to seek answers and gain a greater level of assurance about my faith.

But questions can also be bad. Questions can be discreet ways of avoiding what we know is true. They can help us justify choices that we know we shouldn't be making. For example, why is drinking before 21 wrong?

Really, why is it wrong? I'm sure I could talk to an assortment of people and get a long list of all the potential hazards of underage drinking. Many of their thoughts and concerns would prove to be very meaningful, and might even keep a few young people from dabbling in that particular activity. But to your average, non-Christian teenager those thoughts and concerns are not weighty enough to make them say no.

In fact, those thoughts and concerns don't even seem to have much impact on "Christian" teenagers. Why? Well, because all of the potential consequences seem much less severe than all of the guaranteed fun of living it up with friends.

But this is where I have a problem: Why are Christian teenagers even analyzing this question in the first place? Why are they asking it? If you read the bible it is about as plain as day. Romans 13:1-2 says:

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

(Side note: the bible is not commanding that we follow our government into sinful and dangerous behavior. There are plenty of biblical examples where Godly men and women have said no to the governing authorities because they were asked to deny God or act out against God's revealed will)

Ok - back to the point here - whether we like it (or agree with it) or not, our government has decided that 21 is the appropriate age to drink. When we rebel against the authority of our government we are rebelling against God. You can come up with a thousand clever excuses why underage drinking is no big deal. . . it doesn't matter. In the end, it is illegal. So if you believe the bible is true, then it is also sin.

My question to those of you who consider yourselves Christians and yet still want to find excuses to drink with your friends is this: do you even care what God thinks? Does it even matter to you that you are grieving Him - literally grieving Him every time you make that choice?

Stop making excuses and asking unnecessary questions. It is time to decide whether or not you actually love God enough to follow him. . . and then, if you can fully admit and acknowledge that He is worth more than anything this world has to offer - actually follow Him!

Follow Him anywhere and everywhere He leads (and if you were born anytime after 1988, you can be pretty sure He won't be leading you to the local brewery anytime soon). . .

Blogging Block

Last night I realized that a few days had passed since I last blogged, so I sat down at the computer to write a new entry. I was completely lost. I had no idea what to say. It was weird, because I always have something to say.

So, instead of forcing words to come or just not posting anything, I thought I'd point you back to a post I wrote this summer. It was on my mind because we had worship practice last night and was again reminded of the pure joy and beauty of singing to my Savior! Oh, I do love Him. . .

Have a wonderful day, and if you have any words of wisdom to end my blogging block, please pass them on. . . =)


http://thehillforgirls.blogspot.com/2009/07/worship.html

Unstoppable

There are a lot of reasons why I believe the bible is really true. One particular reason, though, is on my mind this morning. The whole notion of Christianity is pretty crazy, right? God comes down as a man and lives, preaches, dies, and then rises from the grave and says that we should follow after him. Hmmm. . . It isn't a particularly logical faith, is it? But despite the illogical nature of Christianity's main claim there is another word that describes this faith as well: unstoppable.

There are followers of Jesus on every continent all over the world. In some places that fact alone is still a reasonable cause for persecution and death. In countries where Christianity is against the law, the church seems to be growing all the faster. Millions of people meet together each week in underground churches to silently worship the Savior that died to redeem them. Just last night some of my girls and I were singing in my basement. . . Oh, it makes me so sad to think that there are young people out there who can't sing out loud to Jesus.

Gamaliel, a Pharisee during the time after Jesus' death and resurrection, had interesting words to share at a hearing condemning the apostles for preaching about Jesus.

Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God. Acts 5:38-39

Interesting that a man who did not believe in Jesus would so accurately explain the nature of the situation, isn't it? And does it strike you as amazing that those words were written almost 2,000 years ago? Christianity has not yet failed. It has grown, and multiplied, and miraculously moved through out this world.

People are dying for Jesus just as readily as the apostles did in the beginning. I am so encouraged and inspired when I think about the faith of the millions who have gone before me, and I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the church of Jesus will continue to grow and enlarge until the day He comes back to take us home.

I will leave you with another quote taken from my bible study in Mark. We are nearing the end of the book, and Barabbas has just been released and Jesus sentenced to death. It is unjust and unreal to think of a radical murderer being released, and Jesus, a preacher man making crazy claims, dying in his place. . . but then again, nothing about God's work in Christ is logical, is it?

Barabas was a guy burning the system down, he is killing people. . . But if you let Barabbas go, you can always stop him. The most Barabbas will do is go out, round up another bunch of guerrillas and start another riot. You can always stop him by bringing out the national guard and putting down his riot. Find out where he is keeping his ammunition. Raid his apartment without a search warrant and shoot him while he is still asleep. You can stop Barrabas.

But how do you stop Jesus? They nailed him to a cross. . . Then they buried him, rolled a stone over his grave, wiped their hands and said, "There is one radical who will never disturb us again. . . " Three days later Jesus Christ pulled off one of the greatest political coups of all time: He got up out of the grave. .. the leader of a new creation - who has overthrown the existing order and established a new order that is not built on man." (Tom Skinner, "The U.S. Racial Crisis and World Evangelism" in Christ the Liberator, p. 208)

Jesus is unstoppable. People may reject him as God and refuse him as Savior, but that does not change the reality of who He is and what He came to do. There are millions whose lives testify to these truths. Oh, how deeply I long for my life to be one of them!!