Overwhelmed!

All of us face seasons of discouragement or difficulty now and then. We cry out to God to draw near to us, to remind us of His continual presence and eternal love. There are times when God brings a quiet sense of calm and peace after a time of difficulty. . . times when we feel a small, still voice encouraging us and spurring us on. And then there are times when God steamrolls us with love and affection. Yesterday, I was steamrolled by God.

It didn't just come out of nowhere, though. It was preceded by an act of faithfulness on my part (a scary one, I'll admit). I took one small step into the light, wary of the darkness that it might expose, but willing to face whatever darkness was there. I know full well (as you all do by now) that I am not perfect. But that doesn't mean that its not painful to see my sin exposed.

Jesus taught this to a confused Jewish Pharisee in the book of John:

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil
hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may
be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:19-21

I truly believe that this is where so many of us miss out on the greatest blessings of the Christian life. We are so afraid to step into the light and let our misdeeds be exposed that we hide them in hopes of forgetting about them altogether. But when we are honest before God and others; when we are courageous enough to reveal the good, the bad, and the ugly, we give God the room to transform us through His power and grace! We open the floodgates for God to reveal the depths of His love for sinners like us.

The author of my bible study on John says it like this:

Over and over, Jesus deliberately lets people misunderstand him. He has a deeper meaning he wants them to get, and their intellect isn't the key. Nicodemus is smart and educated but still confused. Even Jesus' disciples are confused. The key to understanding is openheartedness or faith, the choice for more light even when one's darkness is exposed.

I am living proof that choosing the light results in great blessing and joy! As painful as it is to allow our yuck to be exposed, the result is worth the initial pain. Yesterday I once again experienced true life in Christ; the freedom that comes from living in the light and not in the dark.

I am overwhelmed by the goodness and love of my God, and I am begging you to take that first step into the glorious light of Christ today. I know that it is scary, and I know that it might require some things to change. But that light will fill you and restore you and free you like nothing on this earth ever could.

Step into the light, let the darkness be exposed, and then run unhindered after Christ. His grace is enough and His love never ends.

Counting on God

Music is the icing on the cake of my life. Everything is better set to music. Worship is one of the most important aspects of my relationship with God. I believe that He made me this way, and that He knew from the moment He knit me together in my mom's womb that my heart would soar to music.

In every season of life there are different songs that are meaningful to me for different reasons. Sometimes I drift towards music that is more creative and folksy; focusing on the musicality, creativity, and passion of the songwriter. Other times I cling to the simplicity of repetitive pop tunes that represent the state of my heart.

Right now, I am blasting one particular song in the car every time I'm in it. It speaks so deeply to where I'm at, and while I know the chorus might drive some of you batty, its truth. Truth that I need to hear every moment of every day. Well, at least every moment of today.

Click here to listen

--Counting On God--
Desperation Band

I'm in a fight not physical
And I'm in a war
But not with this world
You are the light that's beautiful
And I want more
I want all that's Yours

Joy unspeakable that won't go away
And just enough strength
To live for today

So I never have to worry
What tomorrow will bring
'Cause my faith is on solid rock
I am counting on God

The miracle of Christ in me
Is the mystery that sets me free
I'm nothing like I used to be
Open up your eyes you'll see

Prodigal Me. . . again.

I think a lot. My mind is always running around, and often my words have a hard time keeping up. I love thinking about Jesus - his life, his love, his unparalleled sacrifice. . . Sometimes, though, there are other things that consume my thoughts.

Sometimes I spend more time thinking about 'churchy stuff' than Jesus. Not that thinking about church is bad - its unavoidable, essential, and often productive when you're the pastor's wife - just that I have noticed that replacing thoughts of Jesus with thoughts of church is not a good thing.

In fact, it is a really, really bad thing. Why? Because a person can only run on fumes for so long. Talking about ministry philosophy is not the same as meditating on the life of Christ. Practicing worship music is not as fulfilling as quiet moments spent in fellowship with my Savior. Analyzing ministry issues is not as productive as going to God's word and learning how Christ dealt with the curve balls in His ministry.

If you want to know the truth of why I haven't blogged consistently in some time, here it is: I have allowed my mind and heart to become consumed with Christian stuff instead of JESUS.

Quite frankly, Christian stuff is just not as filling and inspiring and exciting. Therefore, I had nothing to write. So this morning I decided I was going to nip this little valley excursion in the butt and refocus my heart and mind back where it belongs.

Jesus.

Ahhh. Seriously, after 15 minutes of praying and reading in John I felt like a new woman. I would like to say that I will never again become so consumed with the to-dos of the Christian life that I forget the who and the why, but the reality is that I am a prodigal daughter. I will get lost in life's distractions and will need to be reminded that there is no replacement for time spent with my Sustainer. I will need you along the way to help me. . . and hopefully, in return, I can help you.

I feel full this morning. Ready to analyze ministry philosophy, practice worship music, and sort out relational issues with a renewed perspective and a satisfied soul.

Today is going to be a good day, no matter what comes. . . as long as Christ is at the center, well, bring it on.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing." - Jesus, in John 15:5

Perspective for Today

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

Hope for the Road

If you read yesterday's post, you might have walked away feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or frustrated. It is inconceivable to imagine living like Jesus in our world today. At least, it is hard to believe that we could do it with any measure of true success. Every moment of every day it seems we are bombarded with messages that directly oppose the cross of Christ. Every day we have to choose to place our faith and trust in Him and not the promises of this world. And boy, it is not easy to make those choices, is it?

As difficult as it seems, it truly is possible. So today, I want to encourage you. There is nothing for you to be afraid of or ashamed of. Its ok to admit that you have failed. I want to make a proposition here that will hopefully give you strength and courage for the journey.

We do a greater disservice to the lost in this world when we act like we have it all together. It is better by far that we admit our failures and inability to live every moment as Jesus did than to put on a holy front and act like sin is repulsive and unknown to us.

You see, there are a whole lot of non-Christians out there who hate Christianity for one very legitimate reason: hypocrisy. They watch us enforce values that we ourselves struggle to uphold and judge the sins of others without admitting our own sinful ways. We seem to look down our noses to the lost and hurting rather than looking straight into their eyes.

Have you seen this? I have. And to be totally honest, I have at times seen that attitude in myself. But there is hope and joy and freedom and peace in realizing that we are the SAME as every single lost person out there!! The ONLY thing that separates us from them is Jesus. And we don't deserve to have Him on our side anyway. . . it is by grace that we are saved.

So how does this give us hope for the road? It means we can stop pretending. We can admit that we've fallen down, get back up, and start running again. We can feel the wind at our backs when we extend others the same grace we have received.

I truly believe that the more in love we are with Jesus the more capable we are of successfully waking like Him on this earth. But we have to drop the pretenses and pretending; we have to finally be honest.

Along the way, that honesty will do more than enable us to walk like Jesus did. It will soften and open the hearts of unbelievers to us. Rather than seeing righteous, self-centered Christians they will see followers of Jesus who are longing and striving to live rightly and fill this world with love and hope. . . followers who don't claim to be any more worthy than the person standing next to them. Just people who have found purpose, life, and forgiveness in someone who sees them as worthy because of Himself.

I am praying for you right now. . . praying that your heart is filled with a deep longing to know this man called Jesus; filled with a desire to model every moment of your life after His. It won't be an easy journey (He never promised that, after all), but it will be worth every drop of sweat and blood and every tear of frustration and discouragement.

Jesus believes that we can do it.

I, for one, am not about to doubt Him.

Off we go, then. Head held high, heart running wildly after Christ. . .

Revolutionary Jesus

I'm pretty much convinced that Jesus isn't who we have made him out to be. I think if we were all to reread the Gospels with brand new eyes we would see a wild revolutionary who talked about the kingdom of God to some pretty undeserving people.

But I don't want you to just take my word for it. Maybe I'm totally off the mark here. . . So I've pasted some verses that I think challenge our current standards as Americans and Christians. Let me know what you think. . .

On being liked. . .

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:11-12

Do I even need to comment here? Seriously, how much time do we spend rejoicing over being rejected for our faith? I think our greater tendency is to see how closely we can walk the line so that no one really notices that we're Christian (or if they do they at least think we're one of the 10 really pretty cool ones).

On relationships with difficult people. . .

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44

On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:12-13

If we are to correctly understand what Jesus meant when he said, "Love your enemies," we have to understand what he means when he says love. Love to Jesus was not a feeling, or a forced smile and hello. Love was bending over backwards to express true compassion and concern for others. Love is action, not words - service, not feelings.

And often, those who we are called to love are difficult. They are mean, or dirty, or totally unrefined. They are sinners. We have done a lovely job of convincing ourselves that it is totally legitimate and even Godly to remove ourselves from the midst of such individuals and surround ourselves with other righteous and religious people like us. Except once again, we are totally disregarding the example of our Savior.

He didn't run from these people. He pursued them. If we are going to truly follow after Jesus' example we are going to love some pretty unlovable people in some seriously tangible, physical ways.

On our money and stuff. . .

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But
store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:19-20

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Matthew 19:21

Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Matthew 8:20

Loving Jesus and following after him means developing a "whatever" perspective about our stuff and our comfort in this life. Jesus didn't acquire stuff, and he wasn't concerned with his own personal comfort. We are so rich, and we are so comfortable. I think those two facts alone do most of the work in separating us from God and tearing our hearts away from His path and purpose for our lives.

On sacrifice and humility. . .

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24

Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:4

Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:26-28

Does this remind you of the perspective of most Christians today? Not what they say, necessarily, but how they live? I'm guessing not. It is one thing to admit that God calls us to a life of humility, sacrifice and service - but it is an entirely new thing to actually do it.

I'm not saying any of this is easy. And by no means is this list comprehensive. This is just a short little look at the perspective of Christ, and I'm hoping that you can see for yourself some of the ways that we have watered down his message and given ourself false security in our partial view.

If you have some time this morning, open up to one of the Gospels and do your own little research. Read until you hear Jesus say something that challenges your own perspective. Then put your bible down and pray for the humility, courage, and wisdom to start living it out the way it is actually written.

dusty roads. . .

So, how do we walk as Jesus walked? How do we live the calling of 1 John 2:6?

It starts with knowing Jesus himself; reading the gospels and meditating on his words, his actions, and his passions. If you don't know Christ, you can't very well imitate him. So, it begins with knowing him.

But it doesn't end there. You can't just know Him and walk away feeling content. Step 2 is to actually do what he did. Live like he lived. And that, my friends, is where it gets dicey.

The more I read about Jesus, the more I realize that walking like he walked is going to make me very, very different from the average Joe today. My words, actions, and passions will probably appear to be borderline outrageous to most average Americans. But what looks outrageous to them translates into obedience, faith, and joy to my Father - and my Savior.

I long to walk as Jesus walked. . . to stand so closely behind him on this journey of life that I am covered in his dust. Its hard, though, and it goes against the grain of this world in which I live. I have to be completely dependent on God's strength and power working in and through me to actually see any success. I have to pray every moment of every day for God to give me the courage and grace to boldly be Jesus.

And I fail. A lot. Oh, how I fail. . . But the deepest desire of my heart is for Jesus - and I truly believe that when I get back up, refocus on Christ and once again begin running after him, that his grace is enough and his love does not end.

I am so excited for the day when I will never fail again; when my faith will be made sight and the only way I will know to walk will be as Jesus does.

Until that day, we keep striving! We keep trying. We always get up when we fall and we look to Jesus to guide us home.

I am crying out for you to join me on this journey. Don't be afraid to be covered in his dust. And don't be intimidated by the people who look at you like you've lost it. The truth of the matter is, you kinda have lost it. That's the whole point of this Jesus thing anyway, you know. . . And I can promise you that losing it for Christ is the greatest, most fulfilling decision you will ever make.

"Whoever find his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Jesus, Mt 10:39