the cross & the call

Its another quiet, rainy morning here in the Northwoods. I am enjoying my coffee and reflecting on my bible study. Simultaneously challenged and encouraged by the ferocity of Jesus' call on our lives. Oh, how He loves us; and oh, how He longs for us to walk with Him.

I know that I'm still in process. There are things I know and believe but have struggled to really live. There are pieces of my life that I sometimes procrastinate in handing over to God. I don't have it all together, but I believe that my picture of the Christian life is getting clearer and clearer all the time. I am learning so much about what it truly means to follow Jesus; and unfortunately learning how we as Christians have softened, twisted, and manipulated Jesus' calling.

My heart's desire is to know Christ and Him crucified. To understand what it truly means to follow after Him; to pick up my cross; to lose this life and surrender it before Him. I don't want to simply go through the motions of spirituality and faith. I don't want to be good and moral simply for the sake of being good and moral.

I want more. And I want to know that I am not watering down and diminishing what God requires but running passionately into the life He has prepared. Jesus redeemed my life from the pit. He suffered and died on a cross to make a way for me to be with Him for eternity. As I contemplate that cross this morning, I hope and pray that my eyes will clearly see and my heart fully accept the implications that His cross has for me.

To be crucified means, first, the man on the cross is facing only one direction; second, he is not going back; and third, he has no further plans of his own. - A.W. Tozer

Celebrate

Today is Matt's birthday. He's pretty easy to please when it comes to holidays like birthdays and anniversaries. Before the kids came along (and when they were smaller) it was tempting to keep the festivities to a minimum. Matt certainly doesn't have any expectations about there being cake and streamers and presents on the table. . . But Caleb and Ali do. It is a big deal to them that today is Daddy's birthday. If we went through this whole day and didn't do anything to celebrate, I think they would actually be heartbroken.

I love that they have such a fierce passion for celebrating. This past weekend we celebrated the birthday of a great friend. After making the cake Caleb ran to his room to bring out party supplies. He thought it would be fun to play Yahtzee at "the party," and since my decorations were limited he brought out his graduation balloon to help with the celebration. It was a big deal to him. They are exponentially more obsessive about their own birthdays, but I think its awesome that they want so badly to help other people celebrate their birthdays, too!

This morning I read the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. What a great reminder of the way that God the Father celebrates over us, His beloved sons and daughters. There is no minimalism in God's festivities when it comes to His children coming back home to Him. No matter how far we have strayed or how long we stayed away, God is not ashamed to run to us, throw His arms around us, and order the biggest party of the year in celebration of our return.

I am going to celebrate my hubby today. I am going to try and do it with the same fierce passion that I see in my children - and in my God.

Don't be afraid to go a little over the top in celebrating the people in your life. . . after all, its a beautifully tangible reminder of how God celebrates over us.

Experiencing Unseen Assurance

The verse under the title of this blog is one of my favorites. I thought it was a particularly appropriate verse to put there because *hopefully* it is a reminder that these are thoughts and meditations of a girl who is in process, not one who is under some crazy assumption that she has arrived. Every time I sit down at this computer to write a post I am simply putting words and stories to the truths that I am learning in that particular moment.

That said, I absolutely love to hear the feedback and insight of others in relation to my reflections. Its like a big group quiet time where we can refine each others' thinking and encourage each other toward Christ. Yesterday I got a message from a friend who had a challenging question regarding yesterday's post. I was so excited! I need people like him (yes, it is a him, and he is aware that this is The Hill for Girls. . . ) in my life to keep me from running so far with my reflections that I veer away from truth. Anyway, I was excited to hear his feedback and I want to share his question and my subsequent reflections with you all this morning. . . Here we go!

Question:
Is it really true that we can't hug Jesus this side of eternity? . . . Jesus hugs me everyday in the form of my wife, kids, friends, etc. After all, Paul names us "the body of Christ," right? That's pretty tangible and concrete language both for kids and for grownups!

Awesome point, my friend!

Answer:
(In my humble and not infallible opinion) Yes and no. In one sense my original statement is true because Jesus is no longer here in His physical form. In the book of John Jesus talks a lot about his leaving; trying to prepare his disciples for the ministry to come once he left. In John 13 Jesus says, "My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going you cannot come. . . you cannot follow now, but you will follow later."

Physically, Jesus is not with us anymore. I long for the day that I will see Him face to face. . . Hebrews 11 says, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." So there is an element of 'unseeing' in the Christian life. We cannot see Christ in His tangible, physical form, and yet we can be certain that He is real and that His love is steadfast.

In another sense my friend is absolutely right. We experience Christ through our relationships with others here on earth. The body of Christ is the incarnation of Christ here and now. In Matthew 26 it says, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." When we love and serve each other we are loving and serving Christ.

I long for the day when I will see Christ, but I rejoice in the here and now because I experience Christ over and over all day long! I might not see Him, but His presence is felt in so many different ways.

The real point I was trying to make yesterday is that even though we cannot physically see Jesus, we can learn to "hear" His voice and "feel" His love. I believe that one of the ways God most often accomplishes that is through other people (like our spouses, kids, friends, etc). There is a very good reason that God put us in relationships with others - we are not meant to experience the Christian life alone. Our faith is best experienced and lived out in the context of community. We are Jesus for each other, and we wait for Jesus with each other.

So yes, we can hug Jesus today! And no, we won't hug Him until He returns in glory to bring us home!

Ok - I've shared my perspective, now it is your turn. What do you think??

Unseen Assurance

It is very entertaining listening to Caleb and Ali talk about God. They understand everything that's concrete, and not much else. Yesterday Ali was doing something Caleb didn't like and Caleb told her that Jesus wouldn't want her doing that (apparently Jesus takes sides). Then he proceeded to say (very matter-of-factly) that he knows Jesus loves him, but that he can't hug Jesus because Jesus lives in the sky. Ali agreed, and they moved on to something else.

And I sat there in silence, my heart beaming with joy at the simple acknowledgment of my son. I know he doesn't get it. I know that he's just repeating words that he's heard someone speak. But its truth, and I love hearing him say it.

We can't hug Christ, but we can be assured of His love for us. The bible is full of examples and explanations of God's wild and uninhibited love for His children. In John 10 Jesus tells us that He is the Good Shepherd. Those who believe in Him are the sheep within His pasture.

The watchman opens the gate for [the shepherd], and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. John 10:3-4

I love that picture of the Christian life. We have a shepherd who loves us and cares for us. We follow Him because we know His voice. It gets even better when you understand the cultural context of the analogy in biblical times. . .

Each morning the shepherd would call the sheep to follow him to pasture. This is interesting because in most places around the world, sheep are driven. But in the Middle East, they are led. Now the only way to do that is to train the sheep to respond to your voice. You do that by naming each lamb and caring for it tenderly. It learns to follow the voice of the shepherd for provision and protection. Even when several flocks are boarded in the same pen, each sheep will only follow its own shepherd's voice. It is really quite extraordinary. (The Preaching of Jesus, Moore & Weece)

Sometimes I think we struggle to hear the voice of Jesus amidst all of the clang and clamor of this world. There are other 'shepherds' vying for our attention; impostors promising us life and joy if only we would follow them. We hear their voices because they are so close, so real, and so alluring. . .

And sometimes Jesus seems so far. We can't see Him or touch Him or feel Him. But we must know that it is our own hearts and minds that lose sight of our True Shepherd's calling. He never stops leading us, we simply stop following.

I've been listening to some fabulous worship music the last few days, and one song in particular speaks straight to this truth. The bridge goes like this:

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb
The Lord of Heaven

And that, my friends, is the beautiful mystery of the Christian life. The more we live for Christ, the more we will feel and believe and trust in His love and leading. We don't need to see Him to believe on Him.

Jesus is the Good Shepherd. He is calling your name and longing for you to trust in His provision and protection. You may not be able to hug Him this side of heaven, but you can be assured of His love.

Though I have not seen Him, my heart knows Him well. I hope your heart knows Him too. . .

Over the Top for Jesus

Do you ever have days where you see the same phrase over and over in different contexts? Yesterday it was "Over the Top" for me. I either heard or saw that phrase at lease 4 times. I like that phrase - over the top. Its a great 3 word description of how I like to live life.

I think its also a pretty good description of the kind of life that Jesus calls us to live. I am amazed to see so many Christians bored and apathetic about the Christian life. Sometimes I seriously think that they must be reading a different bible. How can you possibly miss the "over the top" calling that Christ has placed on us? How can you not see the amazing adventure that awaits us when we lay our own lives and agendas at the foot of the cross and pick up His?

A few years ago someone made an interesting comment to me about my hubby. They suggested that over time he would learn that he really should tone it down a little bit when it comes to his passion and zeal for Christ and ministry.

I'm sorry, what?

That was one of those moments where I couldn't believe my own two ears. Where in the bible does Jesus suggest that our love should be tame? What on earth would lead anyone to think that toning it down is an option in the Christian life?

This morning I was reading the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10. Yet another reminder of the dangerous, wild love we are called to share with anyone and everyone whose paths we cross. The author of my bible study puts it like this:

If we are to be godly, we must be thoroughly enmeshed in humanity. Dangerously, blindly, and sacrificially, we must engage a world that is beaten, bloodied, and naked. And if we don't, we must question the status of our salvation. (The Preaching of Jesus, Moore & Weece)

I am so grateful that I married a man who is passionately in love with Jesus and who is willing to stick his neck out there in sacrificial commitment to his calling. I am hoping and praying today that we will be totally unafraid and unashamed to live out our faith with serious passion and total commitment.

After all, in the very words of Christ:

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:37-39

That doesn't sound tame or toned down to me. . . Sounds more like wild love and complete surrender.

Actually, I might go so far as to say it sounds a little over the top. Love it.

Humbled & Calmed

Do you ever have moments where the most common sense things seem revolutionary and life changing? That happens to me a lot. I'm not sure why I react so deeply to things I've known on one level or another for so long, but I'm grateful for the revelations because they draw me nearer to the heart of God. They also tend to give me a better picture of what my heart is supposed to look like. . .

Yesterday I was reading and writing about life. Somehow I ended up reading in 1 Peter 5 (Well, I know how. I was reading verses on humility. Don't ask me why.)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

As I was soaking up those words it struck me as interesting that in one train of thought we are encouraged to be humble and then instructed to not worry. And I thought to myself, what is the connection between humility and worry?

And then, my friends, the floodgates of understanding opened and I saw the direct cause and effect relationship between our pride and our anxiety. When we feel like it is our giftedness, or our worthiness, or our glory that gives our life meaning, we have a lot to worry about. Because when our sense of worth comes from within it also means that our worth is ours to lose. Suddenly it really matters what others think of me. It matters how I'm dressed and what kind of car I drive. Suddenly I'm in a tornado of anxiety about maintaining my status because it depends on me.

But when we humble ourselves; when our worth comes from Christ, and Christ alone - well, then we don't have much to worry about, do we? It doesn't matter what I have or what others think of me. My destiny is secure and my identity is complete. I have nothing to fear and no reason to worry when I humbly lay myself at the foot of the cross.

So next time you find yourself suffering from a little anxiety about a particular situation, ask yourself this: Am I trusting myself and my own resources to see me through? Am I arrogantly assuming that it is up to me to figure this out?

When we humble ourselves we lay down our expectations for what life should be and accept the calling that God has placed on us. And as difficult as it might seem to get to that point, I can promise you that once you're there you will see that ultimately there is no greater way to live.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I am praying that as I lay myself before the foot of the cross, trusting completely in the yoke of my Savior, that His peace would overwhelm me. I am praying the same for you. . . Come to Him and lay your expectations and anxieties at His feet.

You will not be disappointed.

To Infinity, and Beyond!

Sometimes I like to think of myself as Superwoman. There is nothing I cannot accomplish when I'm motivated. Well, at least that is what I like to think. I have been known to tackle projects that are totally inappropriate for me to be doing on my own (like the time Matt came home and found me half way up the stairs from the basement precariously holding my digital Yamaha keyboard. . . good thing he walked in when he did - I had been standing there for about 3 minutes trying not to drop it and attempting to discern the best course of action).

Today was another one of those days. I decided I should borrow a friend's pickup truck and take a load of trash to the dump about 10 miles from our house (I've never done this before, by the way). I was feeling pretty good about that decision at first. I got that truck filled to overflowing without too much trouble. I covered the whole load with a large tarp that I tucked down into the bed around the garbage. As I backed out of my driveway I was feeling a little smug and self-satisfied at what an exceptionally versatile woman I am.

Then I drove about a 1/8 of a mile, and the wind caught my little tarp.

The next half hour consisted of me driving as slow as I possibly could, stopping every mile or so to try to secure my load and re-tuck my tarp, and half praying/half crying that the whole ordeal would just end. I'm pretty sure I looked totally ridiculous driving down the highway at 40 miles an hour with my tarp flapping in the wind behind me.

You would hope that my arrival at the dump would conclude the humiliating portion of my experience today, but oh no, it did not. You see, having never been to the dump and being completely unaware of "dump etiquette" I was totally self conscious about how to distribute my trash in the warehouse collection center. I was instructed to back my truck into the large space and just throw my trash inside. It didn't matter where I put it because a large machine would come sweeping across the floor, gathering all of the stuff into one spot.

Well, I didn't realize I was supposed to take those instructions so literally. So I proceeded to neatly pile my trash in the middle of the room. I organized it by type; plastic bags, cardboard boxes, etc. I neatly piled our used fluorescent lights on top of the boxes and felt relieved to have the experience over. And then another truck pulled up through the stall next to me. It was at that moment that I realized I should have listened more carefully to the instructions.

The two men that hopped out began throwing their trash off the back of the truck into the middle of the warehouse. Actually, it wasn't so much throwing as it was launching. Glass broke and junk spread all over. I looked from their disastrous ejection over to my nice, neat little pile of garbage. . . and I felt totally ridiculous all over again.

I should also point out that the office was next to the warehouse and lined with windows facing into the enormous collection center. I'm quite sure I brought a little laughter to some lives today. . .

Apparently I am not Superwoman. Although, my frantically flapping tarp is as close as I've ever been to wearing a cape before. . .

There is no spiritual significance to this post. Just thought you'd enjoy hearing that in the midst of my deep revelations and emotional blogging I am also totally capable of being completely ridiculous.

Have a fabulous night, my friends. . .