Best. Surprise. Ever.

I have some exciting news.  Its the best news I could possibly have to share with all of you at this point in our journey...  But you have to keep it a secret, okay?  Because there are 2 little kids here who don't know what is coming, and the only thing that I'm as excited about as this news is seeing their reactions when they finally hear about it.

WE'RE GONNA GO SEE MATT!!!!!!!!!!!

In a week and a half we'll be hanging with Daddy at the Navy base in Newport, Rhode Island.  We'll get to explore the place he's been living for the last month, party it up at a reception for Officer Development School graduates and their families, and watch him cross this first milestone in his military career as he graduates as Lieutenant Matthew Fisher in the United States Navy.

Not only do we get to be a part of all of that, but we get to pile into his car and drive down the east coast for 2 days all together.  He graduates in Rhode Island on a Friday morning, and he reports to his next duty station, Chaplain training at Fort Jackson in South Carolina, on Sunday.  We'll fly back to Colorado from South Carolina that morning.

I knew when we left each other in August that this trip was a possibility... But I didn't know if it would be a reality.  Now that its actually happening, I am seriously beside myself with excitement and anticipation.

You want to know what the cherry on the cake is in all this?  Remember back before we parted ways we celebrated Caleb's 8th birthday; the birthday that we thought Matt would miss due to the training and separation...  Well, the morning of Caleb's 8th birthday we'll all wake up at a hotel on the east coast TOGETHER.  We fly out mid morning, so our celebration with Daddy will be short.

But Caleb is gonna get to celebrate with his Daddy.

My heart is full, and even though these last 3 and 1/2 weeks have already brought their own difficulties and struggles - missing my husband like crazy, for one - I feel so blessed.

Oh, and this is what my man will look like when we get to stand side by side and celebrate all that he has accomplished so far.

Be still my beating heart.  That's my man.

A Busy Week and an Evil Peanut

Its been a crazy week here in Colorado.  The list of "firsts" just keeps growing.  Every experience we have without Matt is a little harder and a little easier,  all at the same time.

Caleb and Ali had their first Tae Kwon Do and Gymnastics classes.  Its so fun watching them discover new things... I don't want them to see this time as just a holding ground - a place where we are simply waiting for what is to come.  I want them to live out each day to its fullest - having new experiences and enjoying the blessings here.

Also, they look really cute in their little outfits.

We also had our first trip to the Emergency Room this week.  It was my second as a parent - my first without Matt.  Monday afternoon Caleb had an allergic reaction at the lunch table at school.  It was an unexpected and terrifying phone call to receive.  By the time I reached Tavelli the nurse had administered the Epipen and Caleb was weepy, but breathing smooth and steady.  We drove to the Emergency Room, and after a few hours and lots of sweet people checking in on him, we went home.

As scary and awful as that situation was, there were so many blessings, too.  I was 15 minutes away from the school when the call came.  My mom was 1 minute away.  She was with Caleb when the nurse administered the Epipen.  It was beyond comforting to walk into the nurses office and see Caleb not alone, but snuggled up with Gramma.

When I initially got the call, I texted Matt two words: "Call me."  I didn't know if he'd even see his phone, or if there would be any way of letting him know what was going on, but he did.  And within 15 minutes they had released him from his responsibilities and we were able to talk with him through out the afternoon.  He also had to do a little legwork on base to make sure our insurance paperwork got pushed through.  So unbelievably grateful for that...

Sweet Caleb... He got to talk to Daddy for a while at the hospital.  I wish you could have seen the way his face lit up when they were chatting.  It was like all the scary events of the day faded into the background, and it was just him and Dad talking about life and all the fun things Caleb is doing.  I wasn't home that evening when Ali got to talk to Matt, but apparently she went into my parent's room and proceeded to talk Daddy's ear off for a solid 15 minutes.

So its been quite a week.  But we're hanging in there...  And whenever a moment hits when I think, "what have we done?!?"  I look at this...

And I am flooded with excitement, and joy, and pride... and I remember exactly why we're doing it.

Settling In & Looking Up

Well here we are!  We made it across 4 states and are settled into my parent's beautiful home in Fort Collins, Colorado.  Leaving Matt on Friday morning was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  When I woke up that morning I was just shaky.  The actual goodbye played out pretty much how I expected.  Hard.  Emotional.  Yucko.

But in all the sadness there was this deep confidence and hope.  I know we're doing the right thing.  I know we're walking in obedience and following where God is leading.  So even amidst the struggles and tears, I have such great joy.

And really, we are so wonderfully blessed.  The drive was so easy.  For some reason our kids don't mind sitting in the car for obscene amounts of time.  We listened to books on tape and oohed and ahhed over the beauty around us.

My parents have created such a sweet little space for us to call our own.  Caleb gets to sleep on a top bunk.  Ali gets to love on Edie (my mom's black labradoodle) to her heart's content.  I have two loving shoulders to lean on when this journey seems a little more than I can bear.  What more could a girl ask for, really?

This first week has also been an incredible blessing because both of my brothers were here to welcome us.  They are two amazing men who I adore, and who bring such joy and laughter to our lives.  Ryan flew back to the East Coast this morning, and Ben will head out in a few days.  No one can fill the Daddy-shaped hole in our hearts, but between Gramma, Papa, Uncle Ryan, and Uncle Ben, our first days apart have certainly been a little easier...

This morning was another first on this journey:  Caleb and Ali's first day at Tavelli Elementary school in Fort Collins.  I was a little terrified.  And probably on the verge of losing it.  But I did my best to stuff all of those emotions down deep and show the kids only sheer joy and excitement for their new adventure in 1st and 2nd grade!  That's what us moms do.

We feel like our insides will burst with fears and worries and uncertainties; and we smile pretty and say, "Aren't you so excited!  I'm SO excited!"  And I do mean it.  I am so excited for them!  They have the privilege of meeting so many new friends, and experiencing so many new things!  They'll be just fine.

And in all of this, I am continually reminded of my ultimate Comforter.  The One who has been with me the whole time.  The One who has gone before us and paved our way.  God is so good, and He is so incredibly faithful.

I have no reason to carry around those fears and worries and uncertainties.  It isn't always easy, but I'm doing my best to just lay them at the feet of my Savior and remember that He's got my back.

So we're hanging in there.  My phone is my constant companion these days, never knowing when Matt might text or call.  Its been so fun to hear how his experience is going.  I don't know much, but so far, so good.  Today he started the intimidating physical training part of ODS.  If he crosses your mind, I know he'd appreciate your prayers.

That's our life now.  It feels like the dust is starting to settle and I can see a little more clearly.  Onward and upward, my friends.

Almost There

These last few weeks have been so good.  I am grateful for the respite - a chance to just be still together before the biggest changes occur.  We've been able to laugh and celebrate and relax.  Caleb and Ali have spent unknown hours creating and building with the legos strewn across the basement.  Matt and I have been running, and reading, and talking.

Last week we celebrated Caleb's birthday a little early... Its the first life event that will really be impacted by our new reality.  Daddy will be on the East Coast in training when our little man turns 8 in September.  Thank goodness for Facetime and Skype.

We had the absolute blessing of spending an afternoon at Navy Pier in Chicago.  It was a fun-filled day complete with acrobatics, a bumpy boat ride, and an enormous ferris wheel...  The best part was watching the kids' reaction to it all.  The way they soak it all in and giggle out their joy is priceless.

I'm grateful for pictures like these, and the experiences we've shared this summer.  It gives me comfort knowing that we have SO many fun memories to relive and reminisce about when we're apart!

Over the weekend we took one last trip up north to see our dear friends.  It was such a joy to be together!  I might not giggle out my joy, but I'm doing my best to soak it all in...  We have been so blessed by these amazing people!

This morning I was supposed to be on the road to Colorado.  I should have hugged my husband and bravely set out on the next leg of our adventure.  But I didn't.

I just couldn't.

Yesterday all of the reasons that I had concocted in my mind for why we should leave today (even though Matt doesn't need to head east until Saturday morning) seemed silly.  Why would we drive away when we don't have to?  Tomorrow we have to.  I'll do it then.

Probably.

No really, I will.  We'll be in Fort Collins by Saturday evening and hopefully settled by Sunday.  On Tuesday the kids start school and our new/temporary life will really start!

Matt reports at the Naval Base in Newport at noon on Sunday and then enters the most physically demanding weeks of his training.  I'm not worried - he's been a machine the last few weeks.  After hundreds of sit-ups and push-ups and many, many miles of (crazy fast) running, I think he's ready.

Well, and I guess ready or not - here we go!

Thank You

I keep thinking the moment will come when this will all seem real.  But it hasn't yet.  There's still this lingering feeling like we're just on vacation, and in a few days we'll head back to life as we know it.  I'm surprised that Matt hasn't asked me to stop saying, "I can't believe it - this is so surreal!"

But it is so surreal!!  I'm still in a state of shock.  I've had months to prepare myself for this.  Countless nights I've laid awake imagining what this would be like.  I have had weeks of purging and packing.  Days filled with cleaning and trips to the storage unit.

Maybe when you change your life this drastically there is just no real way to anticipate or prepare.  But here's what I do know:

Moving is the pits.

I think our stuff was multiplying - no joke.  I'd pack 5 things and then suddenly 47 would appear where those 5 once were.  It felt endless and super annoying.

But its done, thanks to the grace of God and the help of some amazing friends.  Really, I couldn't have done it without them.  So here's a shout out and a thank you to YOU - you know who you are...

...to the one who brought tape and notecards a month ago to get me started and organized
...to the one who organized and repacked the disaster that was my basement with me
...to the ones who watched my kids so I could go into beast mode and pack uninterrupted
...to the one who drove 2 hours to help me pack my kitchen
...to the ones who offered to help every day, making me feel so supported and loved
...to the one who came over near the end when packing is the worst and helped me pack
...to the one who cleaned out my fridge, wiped down the cabinets, and vacuumed the house
...to the ones who invited us into their home our last night, fed us and let us sleep in their beds

...to the church that sent us off with such love and encouragement

You all are amazing.

This is one of the great beauties of life - people gathering together and lifting each other up.  Even moving is a little less daunting when you have a whole village helping you do it...

So it got done.  And here we are - waiting.  Still waiting for Matt's orders so we know what his actual role on base will be.  Waiting till the day comes when we have to say goodbye to each other and gather up our wits for 3 months of long distance loving.

Waiting for the day we get to move to 29 Palms and start living out what we're longing to do!

Its not so bad.  I think a forced respite after the chaos of the last month is actually a pretty great thing.  And today we are celebrating our 10th anniversary.  I can't help but think how cool it is that we are starting this adventure right at this milestone in our life together.

I couldn't be more excited for the opportunity before us, and I couldn't be more excited about the man I get to stand next to and do it with.

So thanks to each and every one of you who have been a part of getting us here.  I'm so grateful...

Radical

A neat thing happened a month ago when I called the kid's school in Fort Collins, Colorado.  It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it was pretty overwhelming to me.  I was talking to the principal, trying to see if our kids could attend Tavelli even though my parent's house technically feeds a different school (farther away).  School choice had closed in February, so I was *only* about 6 months late.  I figured it was hardly even worth asking, but I did anyway.

And I'm glad I did.  Because she was so incredibly committed to making it work.  She seemed so excited that we wanted Caleb and Ali at Tavelli, and she seemed to feel sincere sympathy for our situation.  At the end of the conversation she said something I had never heard before, and I found myself having to work to hold it together.

"Oh, and would you please tell your husband that we thank him for his service."

Such a short sentence packed with such meaning to me.  We thank him for his service.  

Then I made another phone call earlier this week to the military housing office to talk about our big move, and I was blown away again.  This time by just one little word.

Ma'am.

I think the young man I was speaking with said ma'am a minimum of 500 times.  Seriously.  I felt like the First Lady or something... For the first 5 minutes it felt nice having someone speak to me with such politeness and respect.  And then I desperately wanted to tell him to quit it and just call me Erin.  

But that's not an option.

Because there is a level of respect that guides life in the military.  There are ranks, and while the separation sometimes seems over the top, it is absolutely necessary.  I think our country has deepened its respect for the men and women who sacrifice their lives for the sake of our safety and freedom.  So there is honor bestowed not just within the military, but from those outside of the military as well.

I'm not going to lie, this is a different response than we normally receive when talking about what we do.  I guess becoming a Chaplain in the military seems radical.  And on some levels, I suppose it is.  We are giving up some of life's typical comforts, but we are also walking into a new type of family that I know we will grow to love and be continually blessed by.

What it makes me think, though, is that somehow we've lost the sense of radicalness in our daily life.  You don't have to join the military to be radical.  You don't have to go overseas and become a missionary in a third world country to be radical.  You don't have to sell all your stuff and 'adopt' 47 Compassion children to be radical.

You can extend a hand of compassion to someone in need.  You can make a change in your life that bucks convention and puts Christ at the center.  You can sacrifice something you love in order to bring joy and blessing to someone else.  You can put others before yourself and daily die to your self-serving desires.

That's radical.

So we're doing it in the context of the military.  But you can do it in whatever context you find yourself each and every day.  And when you do, you might be surprised at the reaction.  As hard as it is to sacrifice our own comforts and desires, we are honored and blessed when we do.  

And that phrase the principal at Tavelli spoke to me that moved me so much?  Well, as you surrender your life to Christ and live radically with Him at the center of everything, you can be certain that you'll hear your own version of that powerful phrase one day.  It might be worded a little differently, but it will pack an even stronger punch.  

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

California Dreamin'

Wow.  This month is seriously flying by.  It is so hard for me to believe that we're halfway through our last month of 'normal' life before everything gets crazy.  Its already crazy, really...  But the reality of the journey we're about to begin will get much more real when Matt is on the East Coast at Officer Development School and we're in Fort Collins, Colorado, living with my parents.  Its just weird even typing that out.  Yikes.

Anyway, you might have noticed a few changes to this blog.  The title, for one.  When I started writing a few years ago it was for a very specific purpose:  I wanted to reach out to and encourage the girls in our youth group throughout the week when I was not with them.  I wanted this to be a place on the world wide web that was safe for them to turn to and find truth and honesty.  Hence, the Hill for Girls.

Over the last couple of years I haven't written much - the pace of life and the ages of my kids seemed to distract me from making this a priority.  But now I find myself with lots to say, and I am realizing that the purpose and primary audience for this blog is changing...  I am no longer writing with teenage girls in mind.

I am writing with my husband in mind.

I am writing with family members all over the world in mind.

I am writing with the knowledge that these blog posts will be the primary connection point between me and many of the people I love.

Mostly, I am writing to chronicle the start of what I believe will be an epic journey.  We are walking into the unknown, confident that this is where God is calling us to go... But completely unaware of all that it will entail.  Seriously, I have no idea what my life will actually look like in 6 months.  That's why this is now called "Our Life Now."  Because that's all I know.  Life right now.

I don't know what life will look like in a month, or two months, or a year.  But I can tell you our story for now... And when things change - as they will all too often - this is where you can find the tidbits of information to stay somewhat in the loop.

So here's our current scoop for those of you who like the details.  I love details.  They seem to be few, far between, and ever changing.  But the ones I have, I cling to.

Matt's last day at our church is July 31st.  Strangely enough, that's also the exact day we have to be out of our condo.  Over the next 2 weeks we'll be loading most of our precious belongings into a storage unit near here.  We'll head to Illinois for a short break and some time together.

By mid August Matt will be headed to Rhode Island and the kids and I will be on our way to Colorado.  The kids are enrolled at Tavelli Elementary School in Fort Collins.  They already know who their teachers will be and have seen pictures online.  So sweet - they are excited.

Matt has schooling for 3 months.  Our first separation.  If we cross your mind, pray for us.

He graduates from Chaplain training on November 15th.  After that we are headed to 29 Palms, California.  Now before you get all excited thinking that we'll be living some sort of glamorous ocean-front life for 3 years, Google 29 Palms.  Its 3 hours from the ocean in the middle of the Mojave Desert.  Its probably 124 degrees there today.  Or something like that.

29 Palms is a Marine Air Ground Combat Training Center.  For those of you who are confused because Matt was commissioned in the Navy, the Marines do not have their own chaplains, so Navy chaplains are assigned to Marine bases as well.

The most exciting news, in my opinion, is that this first assignment is non-deployable.  That's right.  If we can survive the 3-4 month separation this fall we can count on at least a few years before another long separation is required.

Oh hallelujah.

So there it is.  Beyond that, I am learning to be patient and flexible.  Working on what it looks like truly believe that God has it in His hands.  Its funny how easy it is to believe that when your life is predictable and stable.  When you are thrust into the unknown it suddenly becomes a much more difficult exercise of faith...

For now, I am packing, cleaning, trying to have some fun with the kids, and spending precious time with the beautiful friends God has blessed me with here.  I will do my best to live in the moment; cherishing the time we have.

I am so grateful for this life we are living now.

Grateful for you, too...