Yes, I'm talking to you. . .

I'm having a hard time writing tonight. Its not that there is nothing to say, but that there is a very specific person - a very specific situation that is weighing heavily on my heart right now. I keep trying to find a way to write a generic blog that will somehow be meaningful to everyone and yet pierce straight through the darkness to lift up the heart of my friend. I am giving up on being crafty and contrived. I can't do it.

So here is my prayer for my sweet friend, and anyone else who might need to hear it too.

Colossians 1:9-14
So we have not stopped praying for you since we
first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.
We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance
that belongs to his people, who live in the light. For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.

Let us never forget that the God who came down to earth in the form of a man has not left us here to wander. He died to save us not just so that we might have life in heaven but that we might also experience His transforming and power-filled life here on earth. Whatever trials or difficulties we might face, He is always there to guide us.

Oh, that we would live a life worthy of the Lord. That no earthly trial would hinder us from whole-heartedly pursuing our Savior. . . That even through our difficult and often devastating circumstances we would glimpse His glorious face and find strength to rise in the morning and boldly face a new day.

Derailed

I cannot believe I am about to say this, but I can't wait for summer to be over. First of all, it hasn't felt much like summer. We have the amazing privilege of living on a lake, but I think we've only had 3 or 4 swim-worthy days. Secondly, summer has turned out to be massively chaotic and I am longing for the structure and routine that the school year brings.

I wasn't always this way, but I have learned that there is a great amount of joy and freedom that comes when life is somewhat organized. There is so much in this world that we cannot control, so much that is beyond our ability to change. But I am in charge of getting my bathroom clean. I can decide if I'm going to read, or blog, or wash the dishes in the sink. When I am faithful and consistent with the small things in my life it makes dealing with the big, chaotic things so much easier.

And one of the things I look forward to most is getting back into blogging daily. It was therapeutic, healing, encouraging, and motivating for me. . . its been frustrating to have so many spurts of blankness. Not that nothing is going through my head during those days, but that there is so much going on yet I can't sit down and process through any of it. So, I am hoping that in the coming weeks life will simmer down a bit and I can get back into the routine of processing life on the world wide web. . .

Until then, pray that I can stay sane through each unpredictable and crazy day.

I'll be praying the same for you.

S.O.S.

I always feel a little lost in a crisis. I'm never exactly sure what I'm supposed to do. . . I have all these conflicting theories about how people want or need support. Typically I end up just doing nothing because I can't decide which way to go. You see, sometimes people want you to be around, but they want to be distracted from the situation. Others want to process it over and over because somehow that helps them get through the pain. I know of friends who just want to deal with it alone, and when other people (however well-intentioned they might be) invite themselves over they just get annoyed and frustrated.

So, I'm never really sure what I should do. The thing is, though, that we are supposed to help each other and support each other through difficult times. That is what the family of God is all about.

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25

"Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:13-15

I know that there are people in the church who have gone through medical problems or difficult family situations and in the end felt very unsupported by the church. Now that I think about it, I wonder if it isn't so much that the church family didn't want to support them, or didn't care about them - but more that they didn't know how. I think a lot of us tend to be intimidated by those kinds of situations. . .

So this weekend I had the opportunity to make a choice. I chose to insert myself into a difficult circumstance and do my best to encourage, support, and love the girls that God has put in my path. They didn't beg me to be there. They didn't call and ask me to come. Sometimes people are afraid to ask for help because they don't want to have expectations of others that seem unreasonable. But it wasn't unreasonable for me to be with them - it was a joy and an honor! It was a blessing because it is the way that God intended for his family to function.

Sometimes the wise choice might be to stay at home and pray for those who are hurting. Sometimes its to head on over and love 'em in person. . . it is up to us to pray and ask God to lead us in the right direction whenever the opportunity arises. And when you feel a strong nudging from God to insert yourself into the difficulties of someone in the family of God, don't be afraid to do it. I think it is always better to annoy someone with your overbearing love than to allow them to feel like no one loves them at all.

Oh, that we would be a family that shared such deep love and transparent support that the world around us would be drawn to the light and truth that inspires and motivates our lives!!

I'm up now

I made it! It is Friday night and my week of pure insanity is finished. I am sitting at my computer marveling at my pedicured toes, sipping my black orange tea, and thinking about all that this week entailed. If I was trying to present a lovely and wonderful picture of myself right now I'd focus on my wonderful achievements - how I sang and danced and led hundreds of children to Christ (well, that last part isn't even true, so I guess I wouldn't say it. . . but it sounds great doesn't it?). But, unfortunately I vowed to make this blog an honest portrait of a real life lived for Jesus. So, I have to admit that this week (though there were some small successes) I totally fell apart.

Its humbling to realize that at 29 years old I still don't have it all together. . . All it takes for this little girl to crumble is a little stress and a little exhaustion. When I feel that way, my fuse shortens to about 1 centimeter long. It doesn't take much for me to get angry, burst into tears, or find a way to justify spending money on myself. I know this is totally cliche and cheesy, but I think that weeks like these are just exactly what we need sometimes. If life was always good and perfect, if I always held myself together with great composure, it would be very easy for me to think that somehow I was the reason for my greatness. I think I'd start getting a little prideful and take credit for the successes and beauties in my life.

But when I have a bad week - when my fuse shortens to ridiculous lengths and my patience wears thin. . . then I remember that it is nothing and no one but Jesus who keeps me together in the first place. I am totally and completely dependent on Him and Him alone. I am so thankful that my God is a God who carries us through our difficult times, who is patient and tender with us when we are stressed, and whose Son walked the same path a hundred times and knows exactly what we are going through.

It was a great week. And although there were moments when my attitude was less than stellar, I am glad that it provided an opportunity to recognize once again my need for a Savior.

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Hebrews 4:14-16

I hope you feel the truth in those words. I hope you have experienced exactly the same comforting realization. Its ok if we stumble and fall - its how we respond in those moments that defines and displays what we really think of God. I was in the Black Chorus at the University of Illinois during college, and one particular song has stuck in my head for the 8 years since. I don't remember who its by - but it goes like this:

We fall down,
but we get up
We fall down,
but we get up
We fall down,
but we get up
For a saint is just a sinner
who fell down,

and got up.

Expectations

Do you ever feel totally misunderstood? Like someone has misjudged your motives or thoughts, or like you just weren't able to explain your point of view well enough? As I've continued reading through the "Drama of Scripture" I am reminded of just how misunderstood Jesus was in his day - and how he continues to be misunderstood even now.

Before Jesus even started claiming to be God, the Jewish people were waiting for a Messiah. The Old Testament scriptures prophesied that God would send a Savior to redeem His people from oppression and foreign rule. So, they were expecting a king - a strong, wise, politically savvy man who would lead the Jewish people out of bondage to the Romans and make them the ultimate national power in the world. Leaders in the Jewish church felt very strongly that this ultimate salvation was reserved first for the faithful Jewish people - those who held strongly to the laws of the Torah and who separated themselves from the 'unclean' Jews and Gentiles around them. Then, once the faithful had been given power and authority under their new king, they would draw the rest of the people of the world to worship their God.

The reason they hated Jesus - and eventually crucified him - was not just that he claimed to be this long awaited Messiah. . . but that his plan was very different from theirs. Rather than immediately conquering all foreign nations and oppressors, rather than judging the ungodly, unclean people outside of the Jewish nation, rather than encouraging a separatist and elitist mindset among his followers, he preached a way of love and suffering. He called people to love without bounds - even their enemies. He broke many of the ritualistic and legalistic rules that the teachers of the law had required of the Jewish people. He said that he would have to die - no normal death, but death on a cross. . . the most shameful and humiliating death to suffer. Why on earth would the Jewish people want to follow this king? What kind of a king is that? They denied him because they didn't understand him.

Today we aren't so offended by the cross. Our greater tendency is actually to minimize it and trivialize it. We believe in this loving, gracious, easy-to-please Savior who just wants us to be happy, fulfilled, and content in this life until he can take us home to be with him forever. Some of that is true. . . but some of it isn't. Jesus has also called us to walk the same way that he walked. The way of love and suffering. As Christians we are actually supposed to love as deeply and intimately as he loved. . . We are supposed to put our wants, needs, and comforts aside when he calls us to serve and sacrifice for the people around us.

In John 6 Jesus gives a vivid and undeniable picture of what the Christ-life actually looks like. And what is the response?

"From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him." John 6:66

They left because the teaching was hard. Too hard to swallow. But Jesus didn't try to candy coat it and make it seem more appealing than it was. He was honest about the job he came to do and how through it he would redeem the world. I think that when we candy coat the Christian life we do a lot more damage than good. We might draw people in with our promises of health and wealth and pretty perfect children, but when reality comes and our new converts see that what they were given was only a partial view of what Christ has called us to - they will leave feeling more angry, hurt, and jaded than when they came. In the words of Caedman's Call:

That boy had the highest of expectations
When he heard that Jesus would fill him up
Maybe something got lost in the language
If this was full, then why bother?

This was not the way it looked on the billboard
Smiling family beaming down on the interstate

Jesus is so often misunderstood because we often misrepresent him. I am making it my goal these days to know exactly what he taught, and exactly the way he walked so that I don't turn people away because of catchy but false advertising. If you are a Christ-follower already, I would encourage you to do the same. If you haven't connected to the Jesus you've been taught about, and if you can relate to the words of that song, I beg you to open up your bible and read about Jesus as he really was.

The picture painted there will never disappoint you.

Dance for Jesus

You might not hear from me much this week. It's VBS week at our church and my role - while it doesn't require much preparation - demands ALL of the energy, enthusiasm, and excitement my little self can muster. I lead the singing/dancing/aerobic portions of the day. It is definitely more exercise than I normally get in any given year. I like doing it - don't get me wrong. . . it just leaves me with little to offer for the rest of the week.

I was reminded today, though, of the huge opportunity I have to impact kids lives during this time. Sometimes it is easy to believe that our efforts go wasted, or that our time is spent achieving little but entertainment for an easily pleased audience. . . however, I know that God can and will use this week to do some big things in the kids' lives. I know that He can use this week to teach kids what it means to truly trust Jesus. . . and even if it means losing the last marble I had rolling around in my head - its worth it.

At the end of the session today I was helping Caleb in the bathroom and overheard two little girls talking. It made me laugh, and then humbled me. . . It doesn't matter if you spend your day with 6 year-olds or 45 year-olds. Never squander an opportunity to show the love of Christ because you never know how closely they are watching and how exactly they will imitate. . .

Little Girl One: You know Mrs. Fisher, who sings on stage?

Little Girl Two: Yeah, she was doing the songs with us today.

Little Girl One: She is here in the bathroom RIGHT now!!

And so I will continue to show up every morning this week - wearing overalls and pigtails - and I will sing and dance until I have no strength left. . . and my heart's deepest prayer and desire is that those two little girls will leave this experience with smiles on their faces and Jesus in their hearts.

What else in life is greater than sharing that gift with his precious little creations?

Carry your candle, run to the darkness

So this book, "The Drama of Scripture" is so fabulous. I have never read such a thought provoking and interesting book on the Old Testament. It is amazing to look at the big picture - what God was doing through Israel - and then recognize all of the amazing ways that we are connected to that same story.

One theme that has been continually sticking out to me is that part of Israel's covenant with God (the promises God made to Abraham) was that Israel was going to be a nation that would bless all other nations. How do you think one nation blesses another? Maybe by providing food during a famine, expertise in training soldiers, or aid in fighting against an oppressive invader?? Not so with Israel. The nation of Israel was to be a different kind of blessing. They were to be totally different than every other nation, and in living obedient and holy lives they would draw people to the one true God.

"Israel's life under God is to testify to the living presence of God within God's people. It is to be such a full and rich human life that the nations of the earth will be drawn to it. In this way Israel will fulfill the Abrahamic covenant to bless all nations (pg. 66)."

"The Ten Commandments thus articulate the core principles that God intends
and are to shape the lives of his people so that their lives will reflect his character. Only as the Israelites obey God fully will they truly be a royal priesthood and a holy nation. Only as God's law shapes their whole lives will they fulfill their calling and be a blessing to the nations (pg. 68)."

The crazy thing here is that 2,000+ years later, our mission is the same. Our God is the same. And the same principles that so dramatically altered the Israelites lives are to alter ours as well. When Jesus came and died on the cross it didn't change God's plan. It knocked down the barriers so that all people (not just the Jewish people) can experience the presence of God and the full and rich human life that comes when we live obediently for Him.

Not only that, but we have an opportunity to be a blessing to the nations too. Jesus says it like this:

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16

Boom. There you go. Our job today is to so beautifully, boldly, and publicly live the Christ-life that those around us cannot help but admit that our God must be real. Must be good. Must be the One worth giving their life to as well.

So, rather than trying to blend in with the community around you; rather than finding ways to look just like everyone else without actually sinning, lets be comfortable and content to look totally different. God has given us a purpose here on earth. If we are to succeed in being a light to the world and in drawing people to the One true God, then we must - like the Israelites - live obedient, passionately faithful lives in plain view. . . for all to see.

And by the way, if you haven't spent any time in the Word yet today, open up to Matthew 5 and on. That part of Scripture is called the Sermon on the Mount. It is basically a long message from Jesus - and it teaches us just how dramatically different the kingdom of God looks from the rest of the world. Just how dramatically different we are supposed to look from the rest of the world.

Oh, how I love this journey we're on!! God's word is alive and active - in me, and in you.