Convinced

It is a beautifully blustery fall day here in the northwoods. I just wrapped up a bible study that my good friend and I lead with our high school girls. Let me tell you - there is nothing greater than sharing what God is teaching us with those we love. I am so excited to see sparks of faith in each of these girl's lives. I know that they are all in different spots, wrestling with different things. . . but they each possess a similar desire - however small or great - to know Jesus and learn what it really means to live for Him.

I long for each of them to come to a point of complete surrender. . . I long for that same thing for all of us! Because if I have learned anything during these last few months of growing with Jesus, it is that this is all real. He really lived. He really died. And He really offers us new life when we surrender all of ourselves to His leading.

I may not know much, but of this - I am convinced.

Conflicted

I have been going back and forth about writing this post all day. . . The truth is that I am feeling incredibly conflicted about some of the things I've been writing about and analyzing in the last few days and weeks. It isn't that I feel that any of it is untrue, or unimportant. . . more that I am not confident about how it will be or has been received.

This whole last year God has been doing a huge work in my heart and life. I am back to a place of longing to spend time in His word - actually dragging myself out of bed (happily, I might add!) at ungodly hours of the morning to be with Him in quietness before the kids get up. The most miraculous transformation in my mind, though, is the way that He has broken me free from chains that have held me for years! I haven't just avoided certain habitual sins - I have actually lost an appetite for them altogether.

And yet, every day that I draw closer to Him I also see myself continuing to make selfish, self-centered choices. I'm not perfect, and although I can say that I am more like Jesus today than I was a year ago - it would take more than eternity for me to reach that ultimate goal!

That said, this life transformation has to do with finally and fully surrendering myself at the foot of the cross. Recognizing that when Jesus said, "Come, follow me," He really meant it - in the most all-consuming way possible! It requires humility. . . putting myself aside and looking to glorify and honor Him in everything. It isn't about me becoming awesome. It isn't about me at all. . .

But I am afraid that in recent posts you might have left feeling that I have judged the whole world and found it wanting. Like somehow I have achieved truth and knowledge all I my own and everyone else is wandering aimlessly and purposely.

The truth is, some of you are. And I do believe that the Bible is the whole truth for the whole world for all of time. And I believe that though there are many interpretations of this ancient text, there is one correct way to read, understand, and apply all of God's word.

But any frustration that I have expressed in these recent days is aimed at those who claim to follow Jesus but don't really want to know what that actually means. They confess him with their lips, but do not acknowledge Him in their hearts. And if you believe that all of the bible is really true, then you must know that when those individuals face Christ on the last day, His response to them will be, "I'm sorry. I never knew you."

I am frustrated sometimes. I long for every single one of you to experience true life and true freedom. . . I long for our church to rise up and be a light in this community and world. I don't want to be arrogant or prideful, somehow assuming that I have this awesome faith and unparalleled understanding. . . I just want to know Jesus Christ and Him crucified. . . I just want to live for Him.

So maybe this post is partly an apology, and partly not. I'm sorry if my frustration has been a stumbling block, or if it has confused you, or if you haven't understood my true intentions. But I'm not sorry for speaking the truth as plainly and simply as I see it.

What's the point of all this if we can't at least speak truth?

Rescue Me

I am convinced that our culture has managed to water down the gospel and minimize the cost of following Christ. In fact, I'm not sure that most Americans would even say that there is a cost. . . and in so doing we have lost also the power, fulfillment and joy of the gospel! We are living a truncated version of the Christian experience. I am just as guilty of this as any other - but it is my ultimate goal and my heart's longing to understand exactly how Jesus has called us to live, and then to experience the blessings and fruit that come from truly picking up my cross and following after Him.

I hope and pray that some of you will go on this journey with me. Let us dig deep into the heart of the Bible and the life of Christ. . . let's make it a rescue mission - searching intently for truth not shaded by persuasion or experience or tradition. . . simply raw, pure, unadulterated truth.

And then, once we understand, let's not just know it and believe it in our minds - let's live it! I think we can be certain about one thing: " You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13


Some things to think about as we step out in search of the authentic Christian life:

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the
Father except through me. John 14:6

Those who obey my commandments are the ones who love me. John 14:21

Dear brothers and sisters, what's the use of saying you have faith if you don't prove it by your actions? That kind of faith can't save anyone. James 2:14

Then he called his disciples and the crowds to come over and listen. "If any of you wants to be my follower," he told them, "you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. Mark 8:34

just do it

I hear a lot of people say that they wish they were closer to God. They have a desire (on some level) to live for Him, but they really struggle to feel connected, and frankly their life reflects that disconnect by the choices they make. And yet, I continually hear them talking about getting closer to God. . . verbally acknowledging that living for Him is best, but never actually putting that verbage to the test.

I love you all, but can I just be really blunt? I am tired of people telling me they want to be closer to God, and then see them doing absolutely nothing to change the nature of their relationship with Him. It is frustrating because there is nothing I can do to make that change on their behalf. No one can alter the course of your life and change your relationship with God but God and you.

So, you know what? If you fit into that camp - if you are someone who always says you wish you were closer to God but don't ever seem to change - JUST DO IT! God longs for us to draw near to him. The reality is that there are probably things in your life that will have to change before you are going to feel a deep, intimate connection to him.

You are going to have to be brave, because some of the changes will probably be difficult. It is never easy to change habits that we have grown accustomed to. . . and it is painful to separate from people who have been close to us for a long time. But you can't have it both ways. Its time to decide. It's time to get off the fence and live what you say and say what you live. You can only ponder the situation so long, you know. . . not deciding is deciding.

Are you going to live for Jesus or live for the things you love in this world?

The choice is yours. Make it today.

the Good Fight

Our legal system is totally out of control. It is amazing to me the things that now result in lawsuits. . . When you look at the perspective of our culture, though, it isn't surprising. Everything in our culture tells us to look out for our own rights, and to take definitive action when we feel that our rights have been violated. That, apparently, is the path to personal fulfillment and success.

The problem is that when I look around, I don't see a lot of people who feel fulfilled and successful. I see a lot of people who are unhappy and consumed with the problems and difficulties in their lives. I am a mom, so let me paint a picture of this from motherhood. . .

Moms have difficult jobs. Depending on the ages of our kids, we are giving and serving all day long. We are confined to the routines and needs of our children. In this world of 'looking out for number one' is it really easy for moms to develop a destructive attitude about parenting. We start saying things like, "_________(fill in husband's name) just doesn't get it! I mean, I work so hard all day long, doesn't he understand I need some time off?"

It isn't wrong for a mom to ask for time off. It isn't wrong to ask that her husband be sympathetic and encouraging after difficult days with the kids. . . But when we allow ourselves to be the center of our world, we will never be satisfied! If I am always looking to see if Matt is giving me my rights, I can guarantee you I will always feel like he is failing (and he will always feel like he's failing, too).

Now, in stark contrast to the unhappiness and dissatisfaction that this attitude brings is the attitude that the bible teaches.

Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave.
Philippians 2:4-6

You see, Jesus stripped himself of all of his rights. . . He could have thundered down off that cross and seriously punished the people who were wrongly mocking him, beating him, and ultimately killing him. But he didn't. He allowed them to violate his rights and send him to death completely unjustified.

The bible says that we are to have that same attitude. That doesn't mean that if people are hurting us we can't stand up for ourselves (we should protect ourselves and those we love from abusive people). . . But it does mean that instead of obsessing about ourselves, we obsess about others. We care more about lifting up the people around us than exalting ourselves.

And the crazy thing about God is that His ways are always best, and when we actually live out his ways, we experience the greatest joy and fulfillment in our lives. I know this seems backwards - but when I completely let go of the things 'I deserve' and focus on serving others, I'm happy! Suddenly I'm not consumed with frustration and anger. . . suddenly my job as a mom becomes totally fulfilling and joyful.

Its a choice that we make. We can either focus on ourselves and become miserable because for some reason everyone else's world doesn't revolve around us, or we can give up fighting for ourselves and start fighting for someone else.

I'm not so concerned that Matt and I share an *equal* amount of the parenting responsibilities. . . I long to support and encourage him by making his days easier, and his time at home fulfilling. I'm not doing it to try and be some sort of ultra-submissive wife who lets her husband rule her (which, by the way, Matt does not do - he is incredibly supportive and helpful). I'm doing it because he's a human being, and God has asked me to put his needs (and your needs, and my neighbor's needs, and my mom's needs, and on and on) above my own.

Oh, that we would be like Jesus - not fighting for the rights that should be ours, but giving up our rights to love and serve the people God places in our path. . . and in so doing, find the greatest fulfillment and satisfaction that this life has to offer.

An Unlikely Escort

There is so much about Jesus that is completely paradoxical. He did nothing by convention or tradition when he was here on earth. . . This morning I was reading about the triumphal entry into Jerusalem the week before his death. Maybe you are familiar with this story, but I'll share it here to remind you of some of the details.

From Mark 11:1-10

As Jesus and his disciples approached Jerusalem, they came to the towns of Bethphage and Bethany on the Mount of Olives. Jesus sent two of them on ahead. “Go into that village over there,” he told them. “As soon as you enter it, you will see a young donkey tied there that no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks, ‘What are you doing?’ just say, ‘The Lord needs it and will return it soon.’”

The two disciples left and found the colt standing in the street, tied outside the front door. As they were untying it, some bystanders demanded, “What are you doing, untying that colt?” They said what Jesus had told them to say, and they were permitted to take it. Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their garments over it, and he sat on it.

Many in the crowd spread their garments on the road ahead of him, and others spread leafy branches they had cut in the fields. Jesus was in the center of the procession, and the people all around him were shouting,

“Praise God! Blessings on the one who comes in the name of the Lord!

Blessings on the coming Kingdom of our ancestor David! Praise God in highest heaven!”

There is a lot about this story that is thought-provoking and enlightening, but I want to share one specific revelation that had me crying like a baby this morning. . . Did you notice what kind of animal Jesus asked for? It was a young donkey. Interesting that he would choose to ride an animal better suited for a child, isn't it? What about the fact that Jesus wanted a young donkey that had never been ridden?

At first I didn't think too much about this. It seemed to be representative of Jesus' holiness - that he would ride an animal unspoiled by labor, set apart for his triumphal entry. But the author of my bible study pointed out a significant fact that I completely missed (thank goodness for Tim).

Have you ever tried to ride a young donkey that has never been ridden? I haven't. . . But I have been around horses enough to know that animals have to be taught this particular skill. It takes a significant amount of 'breaking in' to get an animal comfortable and at ease with a human riding on its back. A young donkey would be no different.

Not only was this young donkey being ridden for the first time, but he (or she!) was being ridden into a loud, chaotic, parade of sorts that would unsettle the calmest and oldest of animals. The prophesy in Zechariah that paints a picture of this exact event says, "See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey (Zech. 9:9)."

We certainly don't get any indication that Jesus struggled to ride this animal. There is no mention of Him spending 2 hours taming the young colt before riding into the chaos of the city. The beauty and power of this is expressed wonderfully by D.A. Carson:

In the midst, then, of this excited crowd, an unbroken animal remains calm under the hands of the Messiah who controls nature.

Even a young donkey feels and understands the presence of Jesus. His loving hands, His calming presence. . . Even animals surrender to the love and power of Christ.

Jesus is a paradox. Both king and servant, just and merciful. . . Ultimate Majesty riding into town on a baby donkey. He is a beautiful picture of all that is good, and we experience the best of life when we trust in Him - not matter how backwards His ways may seem from the standards of this world.

I never thought I'd say this, but I hope that I respond to Christ like that young donkey did so many years ago. Willing to be broken, calm in the presence of my Messiah King. . . humbled and dependent on the one who humbled himself to save me.

Christianity 101

I remember admitting in a previous post that my thoughts might sometimes seem repetitive. There comes a point at which there is nothing to do but go back to the basics. I can be clever only so long, and then there is one simple truth that I must share again, and again, and again.

Jesus Christ.

It all comes down to one man in history whose teaching was upside-down, whose claims seemed preposterous, and whose death seemed to end all potential for truth. But then, that man did something strange. He awoke, walked out of that grave, and appeared before hundreds of people in a real, physical, living body. . .

And as I have said before, I think sometimes we - as Christians - actually get bored, or desensitized to the reality of Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. We forget how desperately we need a Savior, and we forget the painful, excruciating price that our King paid for us. Oh, how easily we forget.

So this morning, let's remember. Remember that Jesus did suffer, not only physically but spiritually as well. The Bible teaches us that he actually became sin (2 Cor. 5:21), which means that in the moments when he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, His Father had to turn away from him. . . Can you even imagine going through the worst possible agony of your live, and looking up to gaze into the comforting, loving eyes of your Father, and meeting instead a Holy God with His back turned?

The cross is a beautiful, tragic, mysterious thing. It seems insane to suggest that the Almighty God would send His Son to suffer and die for us. . . but once you have experienced the depth of His love and grace - it doesn't seem like such an impossible stretch after all. We are sinners - every day we defy God's good and right standards for life. In His holiness there is no way He can simply overlook our offenses. He is God, not Santa.

Once we acknowledge and admit that we are sinners, we can choose to believe that Jesus really did die for us, and in so doing receive forgiveness, new life here on earth, and eternity with God Himself! It is an awesome thing that God has done. . . We should never look at the person and work of Jesus and see the 'same old, same old.'

It isn't very cool to be in love with Jesus. I will give you that. . . But I desperately want to be willing to endure whatever unpopularity loving Jesus might bring. He took the weight of my sin and suffered the death I deserved. . . I don't think there is any response I can have but to offer Him my life.