Good times

I am a new woman. Seriously. A living testimony of the truth that the better our prayer life the deeper and more intimate our connection with God (and therefore the easier and more satisfying it is to walk as Jesus walked). Don't get me wrong - I have always prayed. I just haven't always prayed like this.

What is this?

Well, I'm so glad you asked. Let me tell you.

Part 1 - I use the bible. I read my bible before and during my prayer. I use Paul's prayers as examples. I let God's word open my heart to His heart and I simply go from there. This is not rocket science. Thousands (and millions) of Christians before me have done this (and continue to do this!). . . Why? Because it works!!

Part 2 - I move. I make it physical. If I'm confessing yuckiness that has come from my mouth I actually put my hands on my lips and confess my sin. Then, with my hands still on my lips, I beg God to transform me; to use these lips to glorify and honor Jesus. And on it goes. . .

The physical part helps me focus - and it makes it real. I really do sin, I really do need a Savior, and my body really can be either a vessel for God or. . . well, something not so great.

Those two things alone have totally transformed the way I pray over these last days. Both ideas came from this book I started, and honestly I am so grateful for the insights. When I first started reading I kinda thought it all seemed contrived and legalistic. You know, like, do these things and then you'll be a good Christian.

And maybe if you were to read it you'd feel that way too. . . But like I said at the start - contrived and legalistic or not - I am closer to God than I was 3 days ago. My prayers have more meaning and passion and purpose than ever before.

I feel alive through prayer. I feel ready to face the world once I've prayed. I know what God desires for me on a more tangible level after we've talked. Oh, may you find prayer to be such a lifeline as well!! Don't let your prayers be stale and meaningless - find a way to make them real and powerful!

And in a few weeks, remind me not to let mine grow stale and old too. . . because for some reason I am a 21st century Israelite; experiencing the presence and power of God and then all too quickly forgetting.

Maybe we should start the day by passionately praying that we would never forget. . . Pray for me - and know that I am praying for you!

Battle Ready

I started reading this book on prayer the other day, and one of the suggestions the author makes is to pray through the armor of God. If you aren't familiar with the armor metaphor, go to Ephesians 6 and start reading in verse 10. Paul is giving us a fabulous picture of what it looks like to be prepared for battle as a believer. This morning when I was rereading those verses I was struck by a thought. . .

Verse 12 says this:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

We put on the armor of God not so that we can fight against flesh and blood (physical people in this world), but so that we can take a stand against Satan. Satan is the father of lies, and his greatest weapons are the lies that he uses to ensnare us and draw us away from God (Jn 8:44).

When we pray, we connect to God - who is Himself truth. We come face to face with all that is good and right and holy. Once we have prayed, it becomes more difficult to fall for Satan's lies. Once we begin living a life of connectedness to our Savior it becomes less appealing to live by the standards of the world.

And unfortunately, the opposite is true. When we are disconnected from Christ, when our prayers are nothing but laundry lists of requests or rote repetitions, or when we simply aren't praying at all, it becomes very easy to begin living out the standards of this world. In those moments, the honest truth is that the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms have won in our lives.

It is heartbreaking to see so many "Christians" living outside of the call of Christ. Sometimes I am shocked at how much sin is justified by people who claim to love and know God. But I shouldn't be surprised. I shouldn't wonder how this happens and why it is so easy for me to fall into the same snare.

Like I said yesterday, I think many of us struggle with prayer. We have a hard time being consistent in our communication with God. But I truly believe that if we want to succeed in this battle against the father of lies; if we will find any hope in pursuing Christ in this life; if we long for our lives to be more than words - living sacrifices offered to our Savior; well, we simply must pray.

We've got to figure out how to stay connected to God all the time. We have to understand what Paul means when he tells us to pray without ceasing. We have to take the time to understand prayer and find the motivation and inspiration to make it more than it often is.

If we don't, we will fall for the lies and live a life of spiritual lukewarmness. . . I don't know about you, but I want more.


Onward Christian soldiers. . .

One Thing I Ask

The summer after my freshman year of college I went on a missions trip with Campus Crusade for Christ. One particular evening we heard from a speaker who had come to talk to us about prayer. He began the talk by asking us all some questions. "Are you satisfied with your prayer life? Do you think that you pray exactly as you are called to pray?" It was one of those moments where we all laughed and looked around thinking, "Yeah, right. Not possible." Until we realized that one girl up front had her hand held high in the air. You could tell it surprised the speaker a bit, too. I don't remember his exact response to her, but I know that there was some level of disbelief in his words.

You see, I think most Christians would agree that prayer is a hard thing. The bible tells us to pray without ceasing, and the models we have for prayer in the bible are intense and passionate (and often very early in the morning. . . like when its actually still dark!).

And to be quite frank, I think prayer is hardest for people like me. When I was a music student at the University of Illinois I used to scan the practice rooms every 30 minutes to see if any of my friends were practicing. Sitting alone in the 5x8 practice room for more than an hour was an intense form of torture from my perspective. I like people, and I like talking, and I am very easily distracted. I was recently talking with a friend about my struggles with prayer and shared the experience I had in the shower the other day (ok, that sounds weird. Yes, I pray in the shower - but as you will soon see, it isn't usually very successful).

My prayer went something like this: Dear God, thank You so much for the way You work in our lives. I can sense Your hand leading us - give us open eyes and hearts to sense Your calling! I pray that we. . . oohh, this shampoo smells so good. And I can't believe how much cheaper it is than the organic stuff I was buying. I wonder if it has all those bad ingredients in it like the eyeball numbing agent. . . hmmm. I can't read any of this.

I'm not even joking, friends. That's about how it went. . . But I'm not going to get into the theology of prayer today. I am simply going to say this:

I don't ever want to be satisfied with my prayer life. I don't ever want to raise my hand and exclaim, "I've got it mastered!" Because no matter what you believe about the benefits and results of prayer (and I believe that prayer accomplishes more than we could ever know for more people than we could ever imagine), we know that it draws us nearer to the heart of God and aligns our own heart with His.

Oh, if God would just change one thing within me today - I ask that it would be my hunger for prayer and my ability to focus in prayer.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:18

I think over the coming days and weeks we should dig a little deeper into prayer. And as we do, I believe that we will find all of the motivation, discipline, and focus we need to allow it to reshape and redefine our lives.

Let's pray. . .

Isaiah 53

There are some passages in Scripture that just seem to get me every time I read them. No matter how familiar the words are I am moved, encouraged, and challenged by their power. Isaiah 53 is one of those passages. . .

It is such a powerful perspective on the sacrifice of love that Jesus made. This Easter I am praying that these words will move, encourage, and challenge all of us as we remember - and as we celebrate.

Jesus' death on the cross didn't just secure us life in the future; through it He offers us abundant life now. If you have some time, meditate on these words and what they show us about Jesus and His amazing love for us. . . Happy Easter, everyone.

Isaiah 53

Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

Hallelujah. What a Savior. . .

Testing. . . testing. . .

Wow. I just survived three days out of town with no car, no cell phone (and therefore no one's phone number), and NO INTERNET!! It is a miracle that I did not lose my mind. There are people who really appreciate an opportunity to be disconnected from the world and all alone in a little bubble. I am not one of them.

It was a really great weekend, though. We took a group of students to a conference in Chicago, and while the other leaders and kids went to the sessions I stayed home with the Caleb and Alison. It was hard to stay back knowing that they were having amazing experiences and phenomenal worship at the convention center. But it was a good opportunity for me, too.

Last week before we left I wrote about letting go. This weekend I realized that one of the things that I need to surrender to God is you. More specifically, our students; the young people in my life who I am so longing to see turn their lives over to Christ.

Matt and I can only do so much to draw these kids to God. Its kinda like the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." But its hard to watch people you love making choices that lead them away from Jesus. It is SO hard to sit and listen to the conversation among girls who are finding their identity, security, and fullness in things that will ultimately leave them empty.

I love them all so much, but I have to let go. God has brought us here to tell the world (or, at least the Northwoods) about Himself. I need to be faithful with that, but then I need to trust Him to do the work inside. It isn't up to me if any of our young students choose to turn from life as they know it and follow Jesus. It is a choice that they have to make; one that God has to initiate within.

It was nice being there this weekend, despite the complete communication withdrawal. A good reminder that I am not in control and that it is not up to me.

Let go. Let God. And pray without ceasing for the ones you love who aren't convinced that He's worth it.

Letting Go

Have you ever heard that catchy Christian phrase "Let go and let God!"?? It is one that I usually say sarcastically. . . mostly because I have a general distaste for catch phrases like that one, which have the potential to create a completely wrong view of Christianity and God.

But you know what? The lessons I have been learning lately are making me rethink my sarcastic use of that phrase. I think I might actually have to take it seriously and allow it to challenge me and convict me.

You see, there are things in life right now that have me worried. I worry about our future, about our ministry, and about my kids. I don't know what is in store, and the more I worry the more I worry (I know that sentence doesn't make sense, but that's how it works). So what do I tend to do when things seem a little confusing and worry consumes me?

I hold on a little tighter, I try a little harder, and I exhaust myself in the process.

I wrap my little fingers around my dreams until the blood drains out. I consume myself with making sure the dreams come true and my plans succeed - which is an interesting pursuit when I remember that ultimately I have no control over what happens in the bigger picture of my life.

So what do we learn from "Let go and let God"? We learn to loosen our grip. Instead of holding on to our desires with every last ounce of our strength, we surrender them to God. I like to think of it as holding them on open palms laid before our Savior. Letting go doesn't mean that the dreams don't come true. . . it only means that we have finally decided it will be ok either way.

I'm learning to let go and let God. Every day is an opportunity to choose to trust Him and not the plans that I want to make. It helps to remember how desperately and deeply He loves me. It is good to meditate on the truth of His word and the promises He has made. Sometimes it makes me laugh to think how hard I try to hold on to my own dreams and plans. . .

Let go. Let God. His plans are better than ours anyway.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11

Mixed Signals

Well, I watched "The Price of Beauty" last night. I was curious after blogging about it if my assumptions were right or not. First of all, I can assure you that I will probably never be watching it again. Secondly, I am amazed at how people can be so oblivious to the complete contradictions that they are living and promoting (myself included).

On one hand, Jessica and her team had an opportunity to partake in many of the traditional beauty regimes of women in Thailand. Jessica said that she is searching for true beauty and is hoping that experiencing all of these different traditions and regimes will help. On the other hand, they were introduced to a woman whose skin was completely deformed by the creams that she was encouraged to use in order to lighten her skin. Jessica felt so badly for her and through tears tried to encourage her to keep her head held high and trust that things will be ok.

Then she immediately moved on in her search to find real beauty. And I found that to be seriously disturbing. . . because the lesson that we should learn from women like the one whose skin was completely destroyed in the pursuit of beauty (according to her own culture's standards) is that maybe pursuing beauty isn't exactly a healthy pursuit.

This whole issue of beauty and how we try to comfort those who are insecure has bothered me for years. When I was in college I went to a seminar for girls who struggle with insecurity and body image issues. I was really excited about it, until about 5 minutes in. The speaker was a young Christian woman who had struggled with eating disorders and insecurities for several years. Her story was powerful, but there was one really enormous elephant in the room that made it difficult to allow her story to change my life. She was beautiful. She was actually a beauty queen (a pageant girl), and her clothes and makeup and hairdo make me feel completely inadequate. I left that seminar feeling more self conscious that I did when I walked in. I wasn't listening to what she said about beauty, I was analyzing the ways that she made herself beautiful.

So here is the rub. We tell girls not to worry about being beautiful, but we're hypocrites because we worry about it too. We say it is ok to look nice as long as it doesn't become too consuming or trump our desire to please God, but I think this mixed message is doing more damage for some girls than good.

You know what I would love to see? I would really love to go to a seminar for girls on body image issues and have the speaker be totally average according to this world's standards. I would love to see someone standing up there in a t-shirt and jeans with no makeup. . . How awesome to see the self confidence of a woman who can truly say that she has given up the search for beauty and replaced it with the search for Christ.

If you want to make a list of the hypocrites in the Christian world who want to say those things but struggle to lay aside the beauty search you can put me at the top of the list. I'm not saying all of this because I am so spiritually mature that I don't struggle with it. I just know deep in my heart that if we want to convince young women to stop destroying themselves in an attempt to be more beautiful, then we have to actually stop doing it to ourselves and trying to cover it up or play it down.

Beauty comes from within. It comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. It comes in many forms that our culture might reject, but that God made out of intimate love and grace. A few months ago I blogged about not wearing makeup. You know, that isn't such a bad idea. We could all stand a little less obsessing about ourselves. . . and then when we're in the grocery store and we run into a young girl we know from church, or school, or work who is struggling with her appearance and feeling unpretty. . . well, maybe she'll find a little relief in knowing that we don't always look perfect either.

It isn't inherently wrong or sinful to wear make up or be beautiful. But I do think that for those of us who are mentors and examples for young women trying to walk with God, we need to remember that they watch us more than they listen. They will know what we value most by looking at our lives and how we present ourselves. I don't just want to tell them that they are beautiful no matter how God uniquely made them. I want to convince them that it is true by living my life in such a way that exemplifies this kind of attitude.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Less of me, more of Jesus. I think that is the right answer for just about every issue we face, isn't it?